What am I thinking by telling you I’ll wait?

I wish I could know that this is something special — that it’s worth waiting for.

How desperate must I be? Or is it desperation? Maybe, instead, it’s patience. As though my heart knows something that my mind cannot yet see. What if it IS worth it. What if that infernal beating organ is so determined to show me the possibility that it’ll allow me to shred it over and over again, because there IS an end to this cyclical pain.

I’m so afraid. But so sure.

And I’m going to stubbornly and blindly stumble down this path with you. If we lose each other along the way, so be it. But if we make it into the light still clutching each other, we will be brused, aged, and stronger. But more in love than ever.

I will take this journey with you. I expect that I will find myself occasionally farther ahead of you. That I’ll have to turn back to retrieve you. And through it all I know you’ll look at me with those expressive eyes and I will see the gratitude in them.

I will give everything to you. Because I know what you need, I know what’s holding you back, and I know what I can expect if you keep following me through the fog of fear that envelopes you. But if the light falls across your face with mine, we will have reached that myth of perfection.

Please. Please follow me.