He raped me again last night. There are no bruises this time, but he forced my shirt up and his hand in my pants, and he held my arm under his so I couldn’t move. What kind of man does that? Then he has the balls to demand answers about why I don’t want him touching me, when he’s the one raping me.
But I don’t say anything.
How can I, when fighting back will mean losing everything? I have no money on hand, I’m barely paying bills and keeping everyone fed as it is. Without his income I will probably lose my house. I won’t be able to help my son pay for college, and I don’t know how I’d pay for braces for the other one. Or give my brilliant daughter the extra things she deserves for being a great student.
So my health and safety comes down to money?
He claims he loves me and I can see how he is trying to make the relationship work. But I don’t love him. And I don’t want to be with someone who is going to hurt me like this. Divorce would be ugly, but in truth, I’m not afraid of that. Not after last night. I just want out.
So do I call him on this…. or let it go again?