It’s Still Rape
by admin • July 9, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Abuse • 4 Comments
He raped me again last night. There are no bruises this time, but he forced my shirt up and his hand in my pants, and he held my arm under his so I couldn’t move. What kind of man does that? Then he has the balls to demand answers about why I don’t want him touching me, when he’s the one raping me.
But I don’t say anything.
How can I, when fighting back will mean losing everything? I have no money on hand, I’m barely paying bills and keeping everyone fed as it is. Without his income I will probably lose my house. I won’t be able to help my son pay for college, and I don’t know how I’d pay for braces for the other one. Or give my brilliant daughter the extra things she deserves for being a great student.
So my health and safety comes down to money?
He claims he loves me and I can see how he is trying to make the relationship work. But I don’t love him. And I don’t want to be with someone who is going to hurt me like this. Divorce would be ugly, but in truth, I’m not afraid of that. Not after last night. I just want out.
So do I call him on this…. or let it go again?
Please please please do something for yourself and leave. Your children will understand. I know what youre going through I picked my two kids up and moved across the country and left a full house and good job to get away from a similar siutation and though we dont have as many things, we are so much happier and healthier. We care for and help each other and have used the resources available to us and everyone has been so so kind. God has found a way to protect and help even when we only had ten dollars with which to eat and friends and family now that they know the truth are infinitely supportive. Dont wait until ten years down the line ypu are asking yourself what could gave been. Dont let your daughter see what he has done to you and learn that it is OK for a man to treat her the same. Leave today for a happier tomorrow.
Please please please get help for yourself and your kids. A man who would do that to someone he says he loves might eventually be a threat to your children, and what he’s done to you is bad enough, and I am so,so sorry. But it is your job as a mother to take care of your children, and they should not be in the same household as their father. Don’t speak to him about leaving him until you have an escape planned first, and first speak to someone who can help you help yourself.
Domestic Abuse Hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: http://www.rainn.org/
I sincerely wish for the best for you.
It sounds to me like you already know the answer
You MUST get out. While it’s touching to know that you’re willing to endure it more for the sake of your children’s happiness, it still doesn’t seem worth it to me. This man does not love you enough to stop doing this to you. If you’re not afraid of divorce, I would suggest trying to…not threaten him with it, but let him know that you’re willing to take serious, and legal, actions because you’re so unhappy. If he truly loves you, maybe then he’ll realize how badly he needs to change.
I don’t know where you are in your faith, but know that God will provide. He will provide for the bills and all the other stuff. Maybe not in the way you’d expect, or as quickly as needed, but He will do it.
It breaks my heart reading this. I hope you find happiness and a solution to all of your problems. I will be praying for you, too.
Love,
Jordan