To My Darling A….,
Should we have the courage to state our intentions or keep them hidden from the world, should we try and be happy and live without the need for restraint?
Writing this to express myself a little better than a few words on a post-it note, I do feel words can make the difference, some to be treasured and others to be ripped into a million pieces, maybe it’s the latter for this. Was it improper of me to state my feelings, probably & now after a day I now realise it was foolhardy but the damage is done. Can it be repaired, I hope so, I don’t want to spoil a relationship that has grown & I do really enjoy your company.
You see I have never felt like this before, I have been holding back these past few weeks but all it does is make me feel it even more. When I am near you and looking in your eyes, my heart races and I go weak at the knees, stumbling for something to say or speaking a mile a minute. Even when you’re not there, you’re always in my thoughts, when I pick up a book to read, lack of concentration because you’re there, even before I fall asleep you’re there and when I wake up you’re there. I have to admit it does make me smile without even trying when I am thinking about you. To my heart you’re the most important thing to me and I would be damned if I do, damned if I don’t by saying nothing at all.
Maybe I am wrong but I thought you felt the same or at least I felt there was something there to nurture, I know you like being friendly it’s part of your nature so I picked up the wrong vibes and went in the wrong direction.
I didn’t want to come across as arrogant & ignore your presence it’s not me & not wanting to make you unhappy as if you were the one who did the injustice.
You know I would do anything you ask of me and after thinking all this through I know you would ask me to forget all this, gee, to have the bottle to say everything above only let it all go. I know you said you were flattered by my comment which pleased me no end. When I suggested a drink after work to maybe discuss things further, the look you gave, well let’s say I might have been pushing boundaries, now thinking this is all in my head.
Now I want to scrub all this and drown myself in a few glasses of wine, okay maybe not the best way but it helps the mind from over racing & over thinking.
Come what may from this day forward I will always be your friend, if you let me have that privilege of course.
Yours Where Angels Fear To Tread