I still think about you everyday. I know you think about me too. I try to push our memories out of my mind, but I can’t help but be reminded of them constantly. I don’t want to be with you anymore, i know that, but i think i’ll always love you. I don’t think i can ever stop myself from loving you.
It doesn’t matter that you cheated on me uncountable times, that you were never willing to help me, that you never acted like you cared – only when you were about to lose me. it doesn’t matter that we broke up and got back together repeatedly, it doesn’t matter that you ruined my high school years and the few years following graduation. It doesnt matter that i constantly supported you, paid for everything, bent over backwards for you when you have physically spit in my face, pushed me, punched the walls behind me, screamed at me, yanked me around, thrown me into furniture and walls.. it doesn’t matter that you embarrassed me for years.
It should matter though. Those are the things that are still painful to think about, and they should be enough for me to just let go completely and forget all about you. I’m happier now, i’m dating someone that i’d be so lucky to end up with.. so why do i still think of you? why does everything remind me of you? why do i feel guilty when we go months without hearing from eachother, why do i worry about you dammit?? you never gave a shit about me. you changed my life. All i want is to move on, appreciate what i have now, and stop thinking about you.
You don’t know how much it kills me when you text me out of nowhere and say “i miss the shit out of you..”
We were dysfunctional… we were always meant to say goodbye.