(If anyone even cares to read this..)
I don’t really know why I am writing you a letter. I sort of want to say something I haven’t said before.
I also wrote a letter to another guy I know. I plan on doing a third on the last one.
But I’m afraid to say his name. I don’t know why. For some reason I’m afraid he’ll see it.
But I’m not afraid that you or Matt will see this. Why is that?
In other news, I get to see you tomorrow! At fire works. Fun fun. I have to tell you some things there. >.>
So does someone else I know! O:
But that’s beside the point.
I just realized something:
We are like good friends, right? Like best friends, right? So why do I know so little about your past?
Essentially, that’s all life is. You’re never technically living in the present. You’re living in the seconds passing by. Even now, me typing is happening but it’s in the past. These words have been typed. They’re not happening anymore. All I’m thinking about is the past. Even a couple seconds ago.
That’s all life is. Thinking about the past and future.
It’s never really the present. You can say it is, but oh, it is not.
I’m thinking about what’ll happen when I talk to you.
More examples! I’m thinking about what I just did.
I severed a friendship because the guy made me feel uncomfortable.
And I feel bad! I shouldn’t!
Well..I am a woman.
I’ve said this to you before and I’ll say it again: Women. Are. Stupid.
-We fall for men we shouldn’t.
-We get WAY too jealous.
-We feel bad for these assholes/creeps.
-We keep giving you chances, even though guys don’t deserve them half of the time.
-We love the wrong guy.
-We don’t love the right guy.
We’re just idiots.
Well, men are idiots (no offence) in their own manly ways.
We’re just stupid when it comes to men.
I guess that’s just how it works.
But I HATE it.
Why do I hate it so much?
Because what did I ever do to deserve half of the things that happen to me.
I’m a good person, aren’t I? Or I er, try to be.
But I told you earlier that I have a knack for pissing people off when I don’t mean to.
Another reason I hate it? I meet people like you and there’s no connection. Why?
You’re a wonderful person.
You have an addictive personality.
I love your smile.
And I just realized something kind of sad:
That’s the EXACT same thing I think of the person I’m really in love with.
Except he has a couple added perks that you don’t have because…well those reasons are personal. And a secret.
So is it these added things that make me fall in love with him and not you?
Or maybe it’s because I fell in love with him before I met you?
Am I capable of being in love with two people?
I think so. But I just don’t.
Which is probably bad news to you, but good news to other people.
Wow, I’m rambling. I do that a lot.
But I don’t know. I like getting this off my chest.
And for some reason I want to send parts of this to you.
I know you’d read it. And probably laugh at a few parts. Stuff like that.
Plus I express my feelings WAY better by typing rather than saying it.
BUT I only want to tell people how I feel in person.
Is that weird? I don’t think it.
Then again, with people like us, NOTHING is weird.
We’re weird enough as it is.
I doubt anyone is actually reading this.
Well I think maybe one person will,
And I don’t really mind.
I just needed this outlet.
Maybe someone will enjoy this little tale.
P.S. I’d like to hear the song you wrote. I’m curious to know what an all music original piece sounds like.