It happened again last night.

You entered my head as he was entering me.

I wanted it to be you.

I pretended he was.

When I closed my eyes, You made love to me for hours and I to you.

I didn’t want you to leave, but when I opened my eyes, you undoubtedly did.

In an instant, I went from ecstasy to heartache, then mourning for someone I can’t have.

I have seemingly moved on but my thoughts still go to you.

Why?

For how long?

When will you stop entering my mind, ?

When will I forget you. ?

How do I get you out of there?

I run from you in my head and you always catch me, and gently corner me somehow in there, playing with me- toying with me, making me smile.

In reality, You are not here.

I can’t believe I feel like this. I shouldn’t.

It makes zero rational sense.

This is not like me -at all.

Ever

At first, I was too frightened about the way you made me feel and it scared you too; I lost myself in your presence.

I was scared of your passion, your words of such intensity at me; I could barely catch my breath

You saw me weak and vulnerable.

I just wasn’t strong enough then.

You were flushed and intrigued.

When it was my turn- I froze- I am so sorry for that.

It is the biggest regret of my life. Damn it.

You must of thought I was on drugs -. I would have too.

I wasn’t- except for the most powerful one of all – love.

I know it sounds insane, but it’s what I know.

I know I am everything you wanted and spoke of.
I am that woman.

I promise.

What you thought of me- Is who I am-Sweet, strong, passionate and smart.

That way you used to gaze at me, said it all.

I felt that intensity and pressure from you in that room full of people.

It was just too much then.

I wish we could have healed each others wounds with kindness and laughter.

Instead, I ran.

I feel differently now…

I don’t care how we met, or through what cosmic circumstances put us in that same room together.

Strange at the time; it now comforts me.

If you were here, I would kiss every part of you to make you feel as if anything in the world is possible.

I hope you think of me some days and wonder what could have been.

I would swim oceans to get to you if I knew you ever thought of me that way still.

Instead, I do everything to try and forget you.

But my head and heart it seems, just won’t let you go.

Please Let me go.

Or come get me.

I beg you.

It hurts.

I still want you.

But love you too much to chase you.

Trying to let it burn out- I really am.

But this flame just keeps growing hotter and wilder, no matter how hard I try to put it out.

Help me put it out for good.

Or give us a chance and come feel the pain of the heat.

Erupt with me and then lay with me as we smolder it together with the delicious release of our bodies.

I ache for you.

Come get me, before it’s too late.

I’m not scared anymore.

I need you.

I love you