Need advice
by admin • June 27, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Sex • 3 Comments
I’m a sexually insecure bi man in his early twenties, and while i’ve slept with multiple partners of both gender i’ve never climaxed and never really enjoyed myself.
Part of this is me not really knowing what i’m doing, but part of it is dulled sensitivity or something.
I don’t even enjoy the sensation of oral sex, which I understand is quite weird for a guy. The whole process feels awkward for me.
I want to gain more confidence in myself as a sexual person and my abilities in the bedroom.
But the idea of one night stands doesn’t appeal to me anymore
And i’m too insecure and shy to get really close to anybody again, my last 2 partners left me for other people shortly after our first sexual encounter and I can’t deal with that again. It really fucking hurt.
So does anybody have any advice they could give me?
Not with sex tips, but a more long term course of action! Help!
Have you ever wondered if you were asexual?
Yes, but i’m quite attracted to people in every way bar sex it seems. I still get an erection and everything, but nothing “works” on it or the backdoor which I also tried thinking I might just be a bi-curious “bottom” and that was even more awkward!
My advice is to find someone, guy or girl, that you really like and really trust. leave sex out of the relationship COMPLETELY while you are still getting to know eachother. if asked why, explain that sex has complicated relationships in the past for you-so you want to wait a while. if they really like you-they will stick around because they will want to spend time with you and get to know you. if they bail-they are only in for the sex which is someone you dont want anyway.
then, once you are really comfortable with this person-start out slow. don’t jump into sex right away. just enjoy being with this person and let it happen naturally.
it’s amazing how much better everything feels when you are with someone you really care about. i never really enjoyed sex (of any kind) until i met my current boyfriend. i think this is because i can really relex with him, and i dont worry about what i look like, what im doing, if im doing it right, etc. things wern’t amazing right away…but we got in our own rhythm and now things are FANTASTIC!!
i don’t think its really about the sex, or you that’s the problem. its about who you are with-and figuring out what’s in your heart. figure our whats in your head first, then go from there