Apart to be Together
by admin • June 25, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 2 Comments
This time apart I wanted and needed to get over you has been so hard. Getting past “us” is getting easier as I only think of you 1,000 times a day. That is down from a million.
When I think of you, the words that come to mind are love, gentleness, kindness, intelligence, humor, wonderful smile, music. I’m still trying to figure out how such an amazing person fell in love with me. Perhaps you were also as starved for love, affection and intimacy as I was.
We are only apart because we can not be together. Not by my choice but yours. I broke my code of morality for you. You are so unhappy where you are. Living a lie that will ultimately undo you and your family. I wish you would get off the fence. Make a choice to capture happiness again, even if it isn’t with me.
Loving some one unconditionally also means knowing when to let go. It is a bitter lesson to learn but I am studying hard. It is above all that I want you to be happy in your life. I wish I could be apart of it but I will not wait while you are resting on that fence. I have to love myself and know that I deserve some one who can and will give themselves to me as completely as I am willing to give to them.
I still wish it could be you. I wish we could lay under the summer night sky and speak of dreams, hopes, and desires. I wish I could giggle at you when you get frustrated over some thing trivial and then to give you help. Even the times you have made me mad, I couldn’t stay mad long. That makes me even just a little more angry knowing you have such an effect on me.
My hope is that as I am trying to put back together the pieces of my heart, you realize what you have with me and decide that you want me apart of your life for the rest of time.
To be apart to be together…. such a terrible task but I can wait as you are the only one worth waiting for.
HOLY COW… do I wish this is for me… you know our minds and hearts play tricks on us when we really want something … it sounds like it could be for me… but then again every one in this big world has a soul mate… and have the same feelings … my person isn’t living where I am living anymore and i honestly thought that even though there would be this big distance but we could make it work b/c we don’t really know what the future holds, how long we will stay in any one place if we will move away for ever, or a summer, or go on a vacation and stay there we just don’t know… any way tell the person its like a broken record but its the only way to get what you need and want or closure …
i my self am now working on my self making my self better, healthier, asking people when i need help so i can do me and be happy… i learned a lot from my person and have taken the advice and am running with it… although i miss the smiles, memories, crazy times, fun, balanced times… if something is meant to be theres gotta be a way for it to happen ….
find a way tell spill your heart out … I’m sure your person tried just didn’t know how b/c its hard to be fullyopend and unless you saw or know for sure they were with other people … they most likely weren’t … b/c you consumed all their thoughts soul and brain space
XO
I love how your heart thinks, but it’s also confusing. A part of you says you won’t wait while they sit on the fence, and yet there is another part o you that says it will wait. Perhaps this person really needs to hear these words from you…that you will wait as long as it takes. I definitely wish he would say that to me. Best of luck to you. I can understand your situation and where you are coming from. It would be hard to wait for someone when they just aren’t sure or dealing with something else and trying to get out of it…but the timing at the moment is just all wrong. Hang in there. Love has a way of working itself out. I haven’t found it…but I have faith that it will happen…and my wish is that it’s for you.