Virgin
by admin • June 21, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Sex • 13 Comments
Alright, I am having a bit of a situation. I’m 22 years old and I’m a virgin. I’m also single and I have never been in a serious relationship. Which explains the virgin thing somewhat. I have had people try to have sex with me and I’ve always said no because I felt like my 1st time was supposed to be special, but I’m getting to a point where Idk if that is ever going to happen. I feel like there is something wrong with me, and I don’t want to be a virgin forever. Should I keep waiting and hope I luck out with something special or give up the fairy tale and get it over with?
Please wait. You will regret it otherwise.
In concurrence with NoName. I am 21 years old and still a virgin as well. Had a couple of serious relationships, but nothing lasting more than 8 months. My advice: Save it for your prince because your prince WILL come, and words will not express how glad you will be that you did. You are still young, still with a full life ahead of you yet. Don’t rush into something you may regret.
Besides, you are worth so much more than just giving yourself away to anybody.
God bless you,
Enjay
Dear Virgin,
Quite a dilemna! I was a virgin until I was 22; Like you, I also wanted to wait to give it all to that special someone. Well, I lost it to a guy who I divorced after 9 months of marriage. I’m not sure to this day who was served by my altruistic motives by guarding my virginity like it was gold. I now realize that as long as you are sure of your self and that person, practice safe sex, you should enjoy life as it unfolds. Don’t let yourself be used or talked into something if you’re not ready, you’ll know what I mean by that when the time comes.Your body will tell you. Look into your heart. Trust that. Mariah
So tell me about what’s going on with a guy who wines and dines you, keeps constant communication with you, even tells you that he loves you, and has been dating you for over a year & a half, then bam, distance, the old rubber band song and dance. Calls become fewer, intimacy less… yet he still calls and wants to take you out. What is up with that…is he scared of closing the gap so to speak…? I thought I knew it all, I need seasoned veterans for this one. . .
I agree with NoName. I look back on my first time and shake my head to try and get rid of the memory. Don’t do it just because everyone else is. Sex is a million times better when there’s a strong emotional connection. Hugs to you.
I was you 2 years ago. I chose to just get it over with… I was drunk and hardly knew the guy and I completely regret that decision. I always think about what if I have a kid someday and the ask me what my first time was like… what will I say. Now here I am close to 3 years later and I have been with more people than I would like to admit and most of it has been completely meaning less. I have no idea what it feels like to sleep with someone who is interested in more than my body and I am starting to think I don’t know what it means to have a healthy relationship with someone. I don’t think the first time is ever really a “fairy tale” but don’t deprive your self of the feeling that sex can be more than just sex.
same her im going to be 21 in two weeks. never had a boyfriend, but have been close couple times to having sex. ikinda want to get it over with but then i think about the reason ive waited all this time waiting for someone special. and i realize id just regret it. soo in short lol id say just wait. hope that makes it easier for you
Dear Author,
Losing your virginity is a very big deal. You have it right. It IS supposed to be with someone very special to you. I would wait until it is with someone that you have amazing feeling for and he back to you. I was lucky enough to have shared the first time with the first love of my life and our experience together lasted eight years. That is not the typical scenario, but when you are ready and with whom -You’ll know. Just make sure it’s on your own terms. Don’t let any guy/man pressure you into something that you are not ready for. You deserve for that experience to be very special to you and only when you are sure it’s the right person and time.
Angel
@ Heartseeker,
Seasoned Veteran at your service. : )
Your scenario could be many things but here are a couple that come to my mind first :
A.)He wants more from you and doesn’t know if you feel the same way- he is backing off a little because he doesn’t want to get hurt. If you sense this, ask him.
B.) He could be keeping his options open and playing the field apart from you because he is feeling as if he needs to explore a bit but doesn’t want to lose you because that would mean he would have to admit that he made a mistake later. Keeping you around is justifying his actions instead of being honest with you.
C.) He is no longer the same guy you originally starting go out with and feelings are fading or senses that yours are too.
D.) He is wining and dining you, but what else do you do? Is he working a lot or in school? If that’s the case, then he is doing the right thing. Is there a deeper connection? Wining and Dining are irrelevant in love in my book. They are nice for special occasions and want to feel special, but the best times are spent- relaxing casually and being yourself..those are the best.Do you love him back?
E.)Maybe your relationship is a better friendship than a romantic one.
F.) Investigate it a bit and then talk to him. If he loves you- like he said he did- he’ll want to know what you think and give you the response you deserve and answer your questions of his dimming efforts. Use your intuition.
There are a ton of other things, but communication is really where you’ll find your answer.
Angel
you have to do what’s right for you.
but i would say wait. you may not lose it to the “perfect” guy, but as long as you feel in your heart that you are losing your virginity in the perfect situation FOR YOU, you can’t go wrong.
Hello. I’m 22 as well, and I’m in the same boat you are. I have never been in a serious relationship and I am also a virgin. I made the decision a long time ago that I would wait until marriage. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve reconsidered if that’s really the best option and I’ve decided “yes” it is. I don’t want to give myself to someone who isn’t committed to me 100%. I’m not telling you to wait until marriage even though I believe that’s best, but I’m encouraging you to wait. If you have sex with someone just to have sex, it won’t mean anything, it’ll just be for physical pleasure and sex is about so much more than that.
Hello Dear, I’m 22 and I just had sex for the first time a few months ago, so I know how you’re feeling. I was feeling rather insecure about my virginity for a couple years and was worried there was something wrong with me.
In hindsight, there were a number of benefits to losing my virginity after I’d reached my 20s. A lot of teenage girls have a bad experience their first time. I honestly don’t feel I was ready before college. One of my high school boyfriends wanted to have sex with me during our senior year, but I panicked when he slipped his hands under my dress and bailed. I’m really glad I was firm in rejecting his efforts, because I know I wouldn’t have been comfortable with the experience.
My current boyfriend was also a virgin before he met me, and although I’ve dated a handful of guys before him, this is the first time I feel I’m truly in love with someone. My emotional connection with him makes me burn for him physically in a way I’ve never experienced before. Our first time was a bit clumsy, but it was so special. It was playful and romantic, and we both were mature enough to be able to laugh at ourself for being awkward and feel confident about out bodies despite our inexperience.
I’ve never been sexy or cool or popular with guys, but I’ve met someone who really loves me for me, and it feels unreal. Maybe my boyfriend and I will end up getting married–maybe we won’t–but either way, I’ll always be glad I waited to give my virginity to such a wonderful man. You know how they say there’s someone out there for everyone? Well, that’s only partially true. There’s actually many people out there for everyone–the tricky part is figuring out who they are. I know there are wonderful men (yes, plural!) out there for you, too!
Dear Virgin,
the pefect guy will come. Don’t think about it too much. Trust me, you’ll know when the time has come. Take me for example, I was a virgin until I was 21 and I had similar thoughts like you had. Suddenly and completely unexpected he was there. I fell for him head over heels within a few weeks and it happened quickly. Unfortunately our time together was limited, but I never forgot about him (nor did he about me). It was meant to be and just right at that moment. Hope I could cheer you up.
a fellow