some days i know exactly how i feel and exactly what i want in my life.
and other days like today, i have no clue.
I feel like my heart is pulling me in so many different directions.
my vulnerable heart.
my heart that i have built a wall around.
my heart that i wrapped in thorns.
my heart carries so much love its much for me to handle.
so what, i fall in love with everyone i meet.
especially you.
why am i letting myself fall in love with you?
youre much older than i am and we barely have anything in common.
but everything you do and everything you say draws me in even more.
maybe its because im mature for my age and youre exactly the type of man i would love to marry.
youre sweet, kind, loving, caring, helpful, and such a wonderful person all around.
after the night you took care of me when i was sick, i cant stop thinking about you.
i cant stop thinking about the way you held me and comforted me.
i cant stop thinking about your warm gentle eyes and the spark in your eye when your talking about something your passionate about.
even if you do not see me in a romantic way at all, im still falling for you.
but im scared, im gonna get hurt either way.
i dont want to get hurt.
it took me a whole year and new lifestyle to get over my last heartbreak.
so im keeping this to myselft, forever and ever.
because i know itll never happen.
only in my dreams…