Letting Go
by admin • June 7, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 10 Comments
I haven’t always been a good person. I’ve done things I regret. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lied to people. I’ve been insecure. I’ve been overconfident.
But the one thing I’ll remember above all those bad things is having you in my arms. I’ll never forget what it felt like to lay with you beside me, warm, and snuggled up. The way our lips touched. The way I fit inside you.
The way you moaned. It haunts me.
And here I am in a world where you didn’t want any of that anymore. The one thing that kept me going is gone. I have to deal with that.
It’s not easy. I’m afraid I’ll drink myself to death one of these days.
On nights when I’m alone, I think of you. On nights when I’m fucking someone, I think of you. I see people who look a little bit like you, and I panic. It scares me. Just the thought of you being in front of me makes my heart skip. It almost makes me sick to my stomach. It rises up like I’m going to cry.
But it never comes out.
I don’t know what I’d do if it actually was you. I don’t want to know.
Supposedly I’m crazy for having so much trouble letting go.
Maybe I am. I just wanted you to know the only thing that makes me crazy is you.
I wish this was written for me.
I’m sitting here knowing this isn’t you, knowing this isn’t for me- i think that is what makes this so incredibly powerful. I feel sick to my stomach because now I know this is what I feel for you-what I want to hear from you. Or him. Sorry for the mindfuck, thanks for the mindfuck.
You make me crazy, too.
I feel like I wrote this… I feel it, man. x
reading this hurts
I’m sorry.
I realized I’m still in love with the you you were in the beginning, not this you that you are now. And that’s not fair to either of us.
You hurt me too much for me to stay. If we tried to work it out, things wouldn’t be the way they were before, and that’s all I want– the way things were before. And it took me a long time to accept that I can’t have that.
I think about you at night, when the world is quiet and dark.
I think about how during the good times, you used to hold me and I’d lay my head on your chest and wonder how I could love someone so much that it felt like I couldn’t contain all of it inside my body. And that always leads to me remembering the bad times when I laid in bed alone every night crying, hoping you’d come back.
But you never did.
And that’s why I can’t.
on nights when your fucking some one els… not really comforting if you love some one thats a really shitty way to show it
she was a stupid, stupid, silly little girl.
And just in case you’d like to know
how it feels to tread the snow
in the cool and darkest night
among a flurry of softest white-
Walking abreast, my love and I
slowly meander our path so high
to look upon the streets below
transformed to splendor with the snow.
These are the moments in my mind
which grow brighter, not dimmer, through course of time
when I find myself alone and churning
with all the passions I turned on, returning.
I cannot feel as alive as this
without the smolder of your kiss.
OMG babe is this you?