Why do I keep getting stuck?
by admin • May 31, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 3 Comments
I think we all have grand plans to do something great, leave a legacy and be fulfilled with what we do in our lives. Passion! Goals that drive us! Here’s the trick. I am trying to chase and catch 5 rabbits, none of which I will catch. I need to concentrate on one. I am good at a number of things but am so desperate for money now, I don’t know which way to turn.
How is it that it seems everyone else is making money but me? I’m fairly intelligent, I’ve been working in the field of IT as a software engineer/programmer for a long time. Why can I not market myself? Why do I seem to be going nowhere fast? I’m scared. I’m scared of spending time going down one path, not earning anything when I desperately need to and what if turns out to be a waste of time. My philosophy is, always give something a go because you never know where it may lead you and after all, life is an experiment. Well it’s all good to talk about it, how about just start living it!!!
I also think that I have a fear of succeeding. I’ve had the chance to do some great work, but I seem to self sabotage myself in the process, always stopping JUST before it could go big. Why am I so scared of this? Why can’t I live by my own philosophy? How do I get unstuck? If I can see what behaviour I’m living, why can’t I change it?
I should also say that whilst I’m pretty adept at public speaking, I’m an intensely private person and my public persona (whilst is truly me) I don’t feel comfortable at receiving praise. I’m happy to be the driving force, but I don’t need to be up on stage and receiving accolades.
The big question is? What am I passionate about? Some people know that they are passionate about say, music and all they do and work towards is to live that life. I can’t think of anything that runs through my veins in that manner.
How do I get unstuck?? I really want to move forward and I know that I can’t do it alone. I am open to advice….please I really need some direction!
Time… Give it time. I started as a lowly, student helpdesk tech at a university. Now, I’m an exchange Administrator for MSFT. I wanted to be dev, still do, and I get to do that on the side in my job.
It’s not to say it wasn’t a rough ride. Layoffs, here and there, and un-received callbacks from interviews had me down, for a while…
It’ll happen, I promise – but you can’t force it to.
Yes, it does take a while. Once you get to know yourself better, you will. I too suffer from the “self sabotoge” but mine is different. I would LOVE to possess the skill of public speaking, but that in itself is what holds me back from some of my dreams. It’s a nuisance really- it overwhelms me. So you are already several steps ahead of the game. You’ll do just fine..
I know my work as an assistant is a where I need to be. I don’t want the limelight nor the glory…
Thanks John for your comment. I don’t feel I can do this alone and want to work with others. I’ve been a software engineer/dev for nearly 16 years. I would think by now I know something about what I’m doing (or would hope so).
Do you go online somewhere to be able to exchange ideas with others or in my case, I’m looking for collaborators on projects. Any advice?