I think we all have grand plans to do something great, leave a legacy and be fulfilled with what we do in our lives. Passion! Goals that drive us! Here’s the trick. I am trying to chase and catch 5 rabbits, none of which I will catch. I need to concentrate on one. I am good at a number of things but am so desperate for money now, I don’t know which way to turn.
How is it that it seems everyone else is making money but me? I’m fairly intelligent, I’ve been working in the field of IT as a software engineer/programmer for a long time. Why can I not market myself? Why do I seem to be going nowhere fast? I’m scared. I’m scared of spending time going down one path, not earning anything when I desperately need to and what if turns out to be a waste of time. My philosophy is, always give something a go because you never know where it may lead you and after all, life is an experiment. Well it’s all good to talk about it, how about just start living it!!!
I also think that I have a fear of succeeding. I’ve had the chance to do some great work, but I seem to self sabotage myself in the process, always stopping JUST before it could go big. Why am I so scared of this? Why can’t I live by my own philosophy? How do I get unstuck? If I can see what behaviour I’m living, why can’t I change it?
I should also say that whilst I’m pretty adept at public speaking, I’m an intensely private person and my public persona (whilst is truly me) I don’t feel comfortable at receiving praise. I’m happy to be the driving force, but I don’t need to be up on stage and receiving accolades.
The big question is? What am I passionate about? Some people know that they are passionate about say, music and all they do and work towards is to live that life. I can’t think of anything that runs through my veins in that manner.
How do I get unstuck?? I really want to move forward and I know that I can’t do it alone. I am open to advice….please I really need some direction!