When it buzzes I hope that it’s you. I know there have been times when I’ve said somethings that I’m not proud of and other things that have expressed how I felt, but the truth of the matter is that through all of that I’m sorry for when I haven’t been as loving as I should have been or the times I’ve been way to expressive in how I felt and waited for you to say it first.

The truth is I do still care…more than we know we both can say right now. You know everything that I’m going through, because you read my heart. There is so much that is happening right now that is changing the course of my life, and I wish you were here in person so that we could talk. I know you would understand. I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I miss you. I feel like you know me better than anyone else. You’ve taken all the mess that I bring with me…and yet you still put up with me. Why? Sometimes I think you really do care about me…and it surprises me, because I really was beginning to think you hated me for a while. But you are still here. Why? Part of me doesn’t even want to begin to hope that you really do…because you hurt me before and I know I hurt you.

You think that what I said before disappeared…but the truth is I’ve been trying to run from it over the last few days, because I care that much…and we both know why I’m running. I feel like you’ve become a best friend…someone who knows more about me than anyone else…and all I know right now is that I don’t want to lose your friendship or whatever it is that we have…