I have started falling for him again. And this time a lot more than ever. But it is more peaceful and more dangerous this time. I guess the article which he mailed me had a huge effect on me. Peaceful because this time I love him irrespective of the fact whether he likes me or not. And obviously it is dangerous because I don’t see how on the face of earth will I move on this time since it doesn’t affect that he doesn’t have that kind of feelings for me.
Every night I look forward to the fact that I’ll be talking to him. I am always looking forward for the message conversation. This whole crush/love/i-still-don’t-know-what-it-is thing is still very amusing because I know there is no future to this thing still I want to sleep next to him every night and when I get up I want to find myself in his arms. Every morning I find myself getting up with a faint recollection of a dream regarding him. Is this an obsession or just attraction or something for sure I don’t know. The confusion is because its not like that we talk a lot to each other or completely understand each other or even remotely have the same lines of thinking. Its nothing like that. But still every time I am with him, its special. Every time i leave him, a part of me wants to wait and stay with him. Is it just the physical attraction or is it something more?
I am trying to analyze it too much. I think its better if I just quit thinking about it and accept things the way they are and just go with the flow because as for now, I’m in love with him.