• Goodbye to you

    by  • March 30, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Goodbye • 0 Comments

    It’s almost been a year since you have come back into my life. You’ve left since then, and the time has passed, the seasons have changed, and I have grown. Believe me, for a while I didn’t think i ever would. I felt so completely shattered all across the floor that I had no idea how i would ever be whole again. But here I am, having weathered the storm, still standing. Don’t get me wrong, I still long for and miss you, and sometimes I wish that you would come back. But today I’ve had a realization. I have realized that it’s time to let go, that I’m as over as you that I can be without having met someone new. That will come a very long time from now, but I’m finally okay with that, and more importantly, ok without you. I still love you with ever little piece of me. That was real, and I’ll always cherish the nights we laid under that window under the summer stars, laughing, drinking, talking about our big plans. I’ll look fondly upon the times i fell into your arms laughing, the rides we took in your car, the nights under Laughlin lights and being consumed by the whiskey. I will remember these things, and keep them like secrets in the depths of my heart. But it is time for me to push onward, start giving others the chance to see the real me, the me I’ve missed, the me I used to be. It’s time to stop speculating, stop holding out for something that will never be, shutting everyone out in my hopes. I finally feel like I can take that step and place myself out there so I can laugh without second thoughts and smile without doing it halfheartedly. It has taken so long to get here, but here I am. And even though you’ll never hear it, this is my goodbye. My farewell, my so long and see you later. I want to thank you for all you have indirectly taught me, all you have showed me. The good, the bad, the in-between. Thank you so much for everything, because of you I am a bigger, stronger person who knows exactly what she wants and exactly what she needs. You rooted me back to the earth, and with a level head I am here to stay. Love is such a crazy thing, and so many wonders can come from losing it. I hope one day you can understand.

    – Ruca.

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