Sooo here I am.. writing again, wishing I could say this to you..
My heart beats so fast when I just see your name. Why do I have to love you so much? I want you in my life, even if it means that you are just my friend. Is there anything I can say to you to make you love me again? I doubt it.. A simple “hi” from you will make me happy.. Just to know that you have thought of me for one split second..
I resent myself soo much for choosing the wrong person. I know that you would make me smile every day, we would argue, but what couple doesn’t? I have grown up so much since I saw you last. I wouldn’t question myself EVER again. How do you convince someone that seems to hate you that you wouldn’t hurt them? Well, you can’t. It is not possible. I wish I could take away the pain that I caused you. You did hurt me, but I have more than gotten over that. It doesn’t bother me. I deserved it. It was a huge slap in the face that I needed.
Maybe I deserve to not have you? Maybe I am the bitch that gets to rot in her own misery. But I just love you. I don’t know how to keep myself from thinking of you… Maybe the best thing for me is to just let you be. Let you come to me. I won’t try to talk to you anymore, because it is more than obvious that you aren’t ready yet.
However long it is, I’ll be here.
I love you.