• Too bad you’re you

    by  • March 28, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Acceptance • 0 Comments

    Dear K

    I guess the first time I saw you was this summer. I didn’t know anybody so every face I saw was new and I kept an eye out for anybody that was physically attractive. From a distance I watched and something about you stuck out to me. You weren’t the the steryotypical “cute guy” but the way you walked, talked and interacted with everybody else was endearing. I couldn’t help but want to know more about you.

    As school started, I passed you but never said anything. We had no classes together but I made friends with your friends. I would talk to them and desperately wished it was you. To my surprise, you called me one day. After that I was hooked. We talked everyday and hung out as friends but that was enough for me. No one knew about us and I didn’t give any other boys the time of day. All I wanted was you.

    Then one day you told me that you wanted to be more than friends if I would have you. You said I gave you butterflies and had never felt this way around a girl before. But you were going off to college in a few months and I knew I would be heartbroken if I got involved and you left so I said it was best if we stayed just friends. You were mad at me. Furious. You thought I had rejected you after you had opened up to me and I didn’t like you when in reality I did beyond your knowlege. I tried to explain that you had taken it the wrong way and that wasn’t how I meant it; but you wouldn’t listen and ignored me for days. That week was the saddest I had ever felt. I would cry every night because I thought you hated me. Finally you wanted to talk. So we tried to work it out both agreeing that avoiding each other was incredibly painful. He apologized for overreacting and I apologized for not saying how I really felt. After that, things were never as smooth. We still laughed, hung out, talked everyday but I was always on edge about not wanting to upset you again. I gave you all my attention for months and ignored multiple opportunities to go out with other friends. But things were finally looking positive for us.

    Then you dropped the bomb. In a few weeks you’ll be graduating and I’ll still be here. You said you’ll be gone alot this summer and I wouldn’t be able to see you much so you asked what I wanted to do. Of course I want to stay with you and work it out but I’m too shy to tell you that. So I said that we should quit now before it got too late. I told you I wanted you to enjoy your life and didn’t want anything holding you back. Somewhere deep inside me I prayed you would disagree and would want to make it work. But you said nothing. That basically tore my heart out. I can’t believe you actually are going along with this! We haven’t talked in days and when I see you at school it’s like I don’t exist. I wonder how something that seemed so genuine could be tossed aside like it never happened. But I won’t fight it. It’s obviously what you want so I’m just going to put on a smile and act like I’m okay. If it was anybody else I’d be pissed beyond belief, but because it’s you I can’t do anything but be there if you need me and hope your happy. Take care.

    Best Wishes

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