• Realization

    by  • March 28, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Doubt • 0 Comments

    I had a realization today. I realized why we don’t work. When I first starting dating you, back a million years ago, I was trying to get over him. He didn’t want to be with me, but he did, but he didn’t. He was wishy washy. One moment he loved me, and the next moment he was blowing me off.

    I was too available for him. Then I met you. You came on so strong. At first, I didn’t want to be with you. I still only wanted to be with him. He was my everything. I thought he and I would always be together. But, then he kept coming around, and I liked that he WANTED me. I liked that he would show me he NEEDED me. I thought it was what I want it.

    I realize now that he’s needy. Completely, utterly, totally needy. He clings to me. He is jealous when I have other friends. He doesn’t make an effort to have activities or make friends away from me. He doesn’t need to because he just consumes me. Completely consumes me. This is why I have felt so lost. I was sitting at home with him. I was falling into his trap.

    I’ve become whom I am meant to be this year. I love myself again. I’m confident, losing weight, looking good, and proud of myself. He is in the past, stuck there, hasn’t dealt with issues. He is needy and clingy, texting me that he misses me when I’ve only been gone for two hours. I just can’t handle it. I don’t know if I can keep up this farce in the relationship.

    He deserves someone who wants to be with him for him. He deserves someone who can give him what he wants back and that person is not me.

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