Even though we were “just friends” we were always more than “just friends.” We loved each other and told each other all the time. I can close my eyes and go back to the first time you told me. Until you said it, I hadn’t realized how deep my feelings were for you. I had never felt anything like this before. I was scared, but I let my guard down. As much as I wanted to fight it, I was completely in love with you.
Then the summer ended. I went back to college…on the other side of the country. We spent my last night together, it was great. I wasn’t as sad as I thought I would be, maybe because I knew this was not the end, but the beginning. Even across the country, I felt closer than ever. I came home way more than I should have for bogus reasons like “renewing my license,” but we both knew it was for you. Even though those trips didn’t always go as planned, they always ended on a good note. Because I was only with home for a short time, I didn’t want to spend it arguing so you got away with a lot more than you should have. I never told you how many times cried over you or why. You’ll probably never know.
Over winter break, I thought we were the best we had been. We met each other’s families, had some amazing dates, and spent many nights asleep in each other’s arms. But I had this horrible feeling that next time I come home, everything would be different. One night when you were sleeping, I stayed up thinking, “what if this is the last night I spend in his arms?” Now I believe that was.
When I left, our “relationship” was stronger than ever. But as we became busier, our communication became less frequent. But I never thought you would completely cut me off. Did you meet someone? Did you lose interest? There has to be a reason. I would love to know what it is. I can’t stand hearing my phone buzz because I know it’s not you, no matter how badly I want it to be. I’m tired of wasting every 11:11 wish on you- it never comes true.
You forever changed me.