How did I get to this place? A bottomless pit the worst of its kind. I swore I’d stay single, never fall in love, never have children because no one was ever worthy of such life changing events, to me. I met you that night 7 yrs ago and let it all go. I fell and I fell hard for you little did I know the life changing events would be so bad. I could have a million babies with you, I could have married you and stayed a life time. I had no idea you’d hurt me, make me cry, and do it in such an insensitive way. I gave you 7 years of chance to change for me and for the family you claimed to have wanted. Now I suffer watching my children grow fatherless because you were hurtful and insensitive, uncaring and cruel. I gave my everything to you, my whole life changed for a real jerk. You abused me physically, emotionally, mentally. Yet still a romantic sap i thought you’d change. I hoped for only love, I didn’t care if you were poor, I didn’t care about anything but just being loved by you. I tried to be perfect for a person like you, who could careless of my efforts. Why did I try so hard to make things up to you? When you were the one who caused the mistakes, yet I apologized. Low self-esteem is why others claimed I stayed but I knew I was beautiful, smart, and all around a good catch. What many didn’t get was you were my person, you were who I’d given my heart to from the very start. I couldn’t let go but I couldn’t stay. That day you came back promising everything would change and things would be different, and I believed you. My heart believed you, I gave in and went back for more. You wanted another child and I wanted to believe that a growing family meant that I would finally have a whole family. You swore I could trust in that you’d be there to count on you. Instead you made me cry, hurt me, lied, and worst of all abandon my children. I know I was the one who chose to get up and leave you., making me feel so guilty. I felt I made a mistake, but did I? I was already 6months pregnant and yet you were expecting me not to be tired, not to be in pain from a very uncomfortable pregnancy. I should cook, I should clean, I should do wifely duties, yet was not married to you. Who made you gods gift to woman? What made you be so misogynistic? The urge in my gut said the right thing to do was to leave. So I left you that night. I now realize if you cared at all you’d realize the point I was making. Instead I haven’t heard from you in 2 months. I texted you to ask if you wanted to be at the birth of your daughter and sadly there was no response. I’m sad everyday because of you, because I loved you and had no idea how to stop. I wish it was as easy for me as it was for you. The wound still fresh and my mind still on the thought of how I fell in love with HURT….