• And the best guy award goes to……ANYONE but you!

    by  • March 28, 2012 • Letting Go • 0 Comments

    I met you & in a heartbeat I knew I loved you. You did everything perfectly, even the way you could lie right to my face. I really meant everything I said to you! I loved you, I did everything for you! You were new to college and I helped pay for almost everything even though I was supporting myself, paying bills, and trying to make a future for myself. You protected me, you made me feel like I had finally found the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. We got serious, probably too fast, & we got a house together and it was all perfect. Then you went on a trip and came back an entirely different guy. 1 week before my birthday I found out from someone I didnt even know that you were cheating on me. Do you know how hurt I was? I never thought of you to be that kind of guy. You even told me you were one of the few guys left that knew how to treat a lady like a real man should. That was not the way they treated them. And then instead of trying to make it better, you left me! You packed everything and left me, I had to celebrate my birthday all alone in a house that was suppose to be ours, while you were on campus partying it up and being “Single” even though you still told me we would work things out. I believed you, and tried taking you back…. and 2 months later found out I was pregnant. We cried, you held me and told me we would do it together and that you wouldn’t rather have had a baby with any other girl. We got better, then not even 3 months later I found out again that you were talking to your ex again. This time her mom called me at work to tell me! WORK!!! of all places! I didn’t even know this girl or her mom. You had soooo much baggage and I just kept falling into your web of lies and annoying ghosts from your past. Somehow I found it in me to want to forgive you. Something about you was soo addictive! I knew I was dumb for it, but everyone kept saying you’d change after having a baby with me. 5 months pregnant, I found out you were cheating on me again. I was broken, but this time it didn’t hurt as bad as the other times. People said all the time, You’re so pretty and he’s not your type at all, why are you even with him?!?! Why??!? God, I asked myself that more than you will ever know. But everytime I asked I could only think of one thing, because despite the bad parts of you, the good parts made up for all of it. You had a way with words, always did. You knew how to make me feel like I was the only one. I knew you wouldn’t get me anything for our anniversary, but I still went ahead and bought you front row tickets to your fave band.. It cost me alot, but I knew youd be happy and I wanted to be your number one again. The anni came and I was right, I got nothing, but you promised me you were going to. Another lie. I hadn’t gotten anything from you ever, so what made a difference now?!?! But the way your face lit up when you got the tickets was worth it. Once again we were perfect. We went on vacation together even though you started slowly fading back to not wanting anything to do with me and I thought spending time with me would help. Well it sorta did, once I finally broke down crying and you felt bad I guess. Then 7 months pregnant and the night before the concert. We hadn’t seen each other in a month and had been arguing and I just wanted to see you to talk so we could go to the concert together and not feel weird. You told me I wasn’t allowed to come see you and you weren’t leaving to come see me, then a woman’s voice came up to you and said she was leaving….then you snapped on me and told me I ruined your whole day because I just HAD to talk to you. I cried, did you know that?? When you hung up on me, I cried… til 5 in the morning. I text your mom asking if she’d talk to me when she woke up because I had noone to talk to. I felt so betrayed! I had to move back in with my parents and you still hadn’t tried seeing me. I found out I was having our baby in a week and tried getting you to see me before I did. 2 nights before I was supposed to be going to the hospital I tried talking to you and you told me you couldn’t talk or come see me…why?!??! Because you were at a party.. WOW. okay?!?! Thanks for that. So I went to the hospital and you showed up. But it wasn’t the same anymore, I wanted us to be a family but I was soooo angry at you, I wanted to hate you, but my mom raised me better than that. You told me you’d stay with us and guess what, I think you forgot you’re a compulsive liar because you didn’t. So our daughter was born and I don’t know how you couldn’t love her the way I do. You’ve seen her 7 times. Yeah, I’ve counted…but only because it’s something that so rarely happens it’s hard not to. She’s almost a year old now, and we have a new guy in our life.. He’s been here for her since she was less than a month old and treats us amazingly. He buys everything she needs, meanwhile, you party every weekend and haven’t given one penny towards OUR baby! I’m ok though, you know why?? Because she is the BEST part of you, you will never find another woman who will give as much as I did and take as much shit as I did, and at the end of it all still try to love you so much. You’re going to find out real fast that your life isn’t a happy one. You say you’re a father, but it takes more than donating your sperm to be a real father. So don’t be surprised when she not in your life anymore!! OH, and by the way, she says “dada” now. Sad thing is, she has no idea who you are.

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