• What Am I Thinking?

    by  • March 27, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    Dear You,

    On Sunday I wanted to go hang out with one of our friends. I convinced her to invite you too. I knew she’d go for it, but that’s because she likes you too. I really just wanted to spend that time with you even though I knew I’d be incredibly sad later. At the restaurant you decided to have some wine, and the alcohol in it actually changed you; which I found slightly weird…it was just one glass of wine. You offered me some, and I surprisingly said no. Later we went for a drive, the three of us. One of the stops we made you mention that you were horny. I don’t think you wanted me to hear you, but I did. It somehow made me want you more. That’s actually all I thought about the rest of the drive. After hanging out with you almost all weekend, I came to two conclusions:

    1) The day I go from driving around with and hanging out with a guy, then going to bed and he’s still mine, I will be one of the happiest people on earth!!!

    And then later, I came to a slightly more sad conclusion:

    2) I’m going to be that girl who ends up falling in love with a guy and she knows she isn’t ever going to have a chance with him…but it doesn’t stop her from being his friend even though it kills her to walk away from him. But such is life, I guess.

    You probably mean more to me that you even know. And for that matter, more than anyone even knows…more than me even.

    See ya ’round campus.

    Love,
    Me.

    One last thing: Why is the thing you want the most the thing you are most afraid to want?

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