On Sunday I wanted to go hang out with one of our friends. I convinced her to invite you too. I knew she’d go for it, but that’s because she likes you too. I really just wanted to spend that time with you even though I knew I’d be incredibly sad later. At the restaurant you decided to have some wine, and the alcohol in it actually changed you; which I found slightly weird…it was just one glass of wine. You offered me some, and I surprisingly said no. Later we went for a drive, the three of us. One of the stops we made you mention that you were horny. I don’t think you wanted me to hear you, but I did. It somehow made me want you more. That’s actually all I thought about the rest of the drive. After hanging out with you almost all weekend, I came to two conclusions:
1) The day I go from driving around with and hanging out with a guy, then going to bed and he’s still mine, I will be one of the happiest people on earth!!!
And then later, I came to a slightly more sad conclusion:
2) I’m going to be that girl who ends up falling in love with a guy and she knows she isn’t ever going to have a chance with him…but it doesn’t stop her from being his friend even though it kills her to walk away from him. But such is life, I guess.
You probably mean more to me that you even know. And for that matter, more than anyone even knows…more than me even.
See ya ’round campus.
One last thing: Why is the thing you want the most the thing you are most afraid to want?