Hi. 🙂 I remember the first day I met you, (well, second technically, since we TP’d a house together, but we didn’t talk..lol) I thought your first name was your last name… I also thought you liked my friend, obviously not, because we started talking on MSN. You and I clicked soo fast. You were way too easy to love. There was no going back after our first kiss in the rain outside of my friend’s (that I thought you liked) car. It was perfect.
Who would have thought it would end up like we are now.. We can hardly say 2 words to each other. I know it’s my fault. I blame myself every day for getting on the plane to England in July.. Then coming back home, seeing your face killed me. You were so easy to talk to again, it was like I never left. It was like you forgave me… I was way wrong. How could I expect that?! I totally shattered your heart. I was terrible. I am sorry every day for doing that.. Then there was my second chance, I totally blew it because I felt guilty of the person in England tried to commit suicide and told me he loved me more than anyone could. I was blackmailed.. I don’t blame him. I blame myself. 🙁 There’s nothing I could say to you for that day you left for training… It hurt me more than anything to tell you goodbye…
Here I am, 4 years later…. still loving you, married to someone else, with someone else’s child.. I sit here with your Skype IM open… lost for words, lost in thought.. You have been on my mind every single day since you left for training. I know we had our problems, but if you were to say “Get on the plane, I love you, come to see me now!” I would drop everything and go. EVERYTHING! I miss your face, I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I miss the way you play guitar, I miss how cute you were when you got angry and how we could talk so easily.. How the hell am I supposed to get over you when you’re the only thing on my mind? :/
Well, I guess there’s only one way, write it down.. Maybe you’ll find this.. Odds are, no, you won’t.. but I love you.. Always have. Never will stop.