• Awaiting a dreaded fate

    by  • March 27, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Abuse • 0 Comments

    You once told me that no matter how long it would take, or where I went, or who I became–you would find me. You told me that I belong to you, as if I’m just an object…

    I will not harm those around me by telling them about you. I tell myself that it will never happen. That I’m safe. But I don’t honestly believe it. Instead, I live in constant fear that today will be the day that you catch up to me. I live with that feeling of being watched all of the time. I switched my glasses for contacts, removed the braces on my teeth, lost weight, and dyed my blonde hair so dark it’s almost black–but I still don’t feel any relief. I know that even if by some miracle you don’t already know what I look like today you’ll still find me. Every person I see that resembles you reminds me that you are out there somewhere. I’m so thankful that you’ll never know how many panic attacks I’ve had in walmarts from confusing a stranger with your hair, jawline, and shoulders for you. Each passing day is bringing me closer to that day. I wish I knew how to freeze time. I can’t stop you. And I have no one to blame except for myself. My worst mistake, meeting you, will forever haunt me.

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