I meet you last year. You dated one of my sisters and were one of my RA’s. I always thought you were cute but I could never tell you. Well you and my sister broke up and I never thought much about it. When coming back to school after summer break we had a class together. We did all of our studying, homework and projects together. Everyone joked that we should date even the professor asked us when were getting married. I didn’t think too much into it because I knew you are a big flirt.
When I lost my best friend and roommate to her new boyfriend you gave me relationship advice, held me when I cried and listened to me vent when ever I was stressed. You were slowly becoming one of my best friends. I loved being with you because you could always make me laugh.
My friends kept asking me if I liked and my response was always no were just good friends. They all tried to convince me you liked me more than as a friend. After Christmas break our class was over and we no longer had a reason to hangout. You still texted me all the time and were being your usual flirtatious self. Then the mixed signals began you began getting really weird saying stuff about dating and how how cute we would be together. I always blew these comments off because I am friends and sisters with your ex girlfriend and you are the biggest jokster I know but you kept saying all these nice things.
One day I got the courage to ask you if were being serious and you said yes. We began hanging as more than friends or so I thought. We talked all day everyday, watched movies and took naps together. You were always such a gentleman. I thought you were really into me… One night we went to the same party where we were both intoxicated. I found out you have been hanging out with another girl and got really upset. You comforted me and told me you did not like her then you kissed me for the first time. It was magical. You asked me spend the night with but I couldn’t. I found out that same night you were hanging out with a third girl. I got was really upset and called you freaking out.
I overreacted and apologized the next day. You apologized too but for kissing me. I was really confused now and did not feel good enough. To top it off you stopped talking to me all together. Then 3 weeks later at our mixer you apologized for the way things went down and explained the reason you said sorry for kissing me wasn’t because you didn’t want to but because it was not the right time. We went back to normal or so I thought. I was being nice and you were joking around.
We were at another party together where you were being extra flirty. We kissed again and you came back to my house were my roommates were having a party. You kissed me all night and were being super sweet and not pushy. Then you left with some random girls and did not even say bye. I had no idea what happened to you. Then the next morning you apologized for leaving and for making out with me and asked if I hated you. I told you I was just mad at you for leaving because you had me worried.
I have not heard from you since and probably won’t for 3 weeks again. I cannot figure you out. Do you like me and are scared or are you playing mind games with me because you can. I’d ask you but I’m scared to find out the truth. As big of an immature asshole as you are sometimes it doesn’t matter. I still want you! You have the best sense of humor of any guy I know, you’re cute, and a gentleman. Most importantly I am comfortable with you. You are the first guy I feel like I can be 100% me around. Our relationship is so weird and unique and I love that.
My girlfriends say to let it go but I don’t know if I can. If I can’t have as a partner then at I would still love to have you in my life as friends. I just really need to know what you’re thinking.
Maybe you’re not talking to me because you think I hate you but I could never hate you I care way too much about you to ever hate you.