• I dreamt of you.

    by  • March 25, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    I dreamt of you last night.

    I don’t exactly recall the dream or the details of the night. I can’t remember, although I’ve tried, where we were, what we were doing, or even what you looked like. All I remember is that you were there with me. This, of course, being a dream and not reality. And how the disappointing shock shook my inner self when I woke up, the realization that you were just a figment of my imagination; A mere fabrication of my desires and my deepest harbored emotions.

    For when my eyes were open and wandered to the glowing neon marks of 7:49 AM, I knew I had only been asleep for three hours. My head ached, and my body felt stiff. My stomach was hard, lead weighted and stone filled. And yet, I could still feel a sinking sensation in it: perhaps it was my hope, the hope that you would ever think about me again.

    It’s not fair. You made me fall for you. I didn’t want to nor did I ever think I would. I initially felt no desire for you, but no, my pertinacious dear, you worked your way into my heart and then you broke it. Like a painter working on his masterpiece, just to ultimately throw it away in the end. And that’s what you did.

    I never heard from you again.

    You decided enough was enough. You knew everything about me, all the explicit details of my terrible past and my emotions. I showed how vulnerable I was, and I never hid anything from you. You knew all the evils of my mind and how I was just not happy sometimes. I let you into my world, only to have you crush it.

    What made you do it? I know I have an infinite amount of flaws but for once in my life, with you, I felt like it was okay. I guess in the end my flaws were too much for you to handle, so much that you just decided to never speak to me again.

    I never got a reason. I pleaded with you, leaving you voicemails as to why I never heard from you again.

    And the worst thing is, I thought you cared for me. I thought you’d never leave me because I thought you were amazing. And I still do. For everything you put me through, I still refuse to believe there’s a greater man out there than you.

    If you ever cared for you, even a little bit, you would have at least told me why I never heard from you again.

    I guess you never cared. And that’s what really hurts.

    I dreamt of you last night.

    I cried a bit after that. Woke up three hours later, again, dreaming of you again.

    I dreamt of you.

    Twice.

    I dreamt of you.

    I dreamt of you.

    I really cared for you.

    I really care for you.

    It’s just so hard.

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