You broke my heart again and even though I knew deep down you were going to, I tried to believe you and I gave you another chance. But you showed your true colours fast. I will never understand why you did this to me but I feel used and abused. I don’t know if your whole plan was to sleep with me and then leave me but ultimately that’s what you did. To be honest I sometimes find it hard to believe that that’s all you wanted because the conversations we had, I know those weren’t all lies. That’s what doesn’t make sense to me. You told me about your life, your plans for the future which included me in it and you told me you were falling for me more each day. If you wanted to just have sex with me, you could have done it and left right away. Why take time to meet me? Why take me out for dinners? Why text me and call me every day and night? I’m not the sexiest girl out there, I’m sure if sex is all you wanted you could have found someone else, it didn’t have to be me. The more I analyze it the more sick I get because I will never have the answers. You’re the only one who knows why you did this, and God of course.
I miss talking you, seeing you, holding you and doing all the things we use to. I miss seeing your name pop up in my phone. But at the same time, you’re still the asshole who has shattered me the most. I really don’t know what to do now but there is not much I can do as you’re ignoring me, other than move on.
Not one day goes by that I by that I don’t think about you and I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing you. A part of me wants you to come back so bad but the other part doesn’t because I know if you came back you’d hurt me all over again. No matter how old you get, you’re still immature. I wish I’d seen that before I got as far as I did with you. I cannot let you destroy me more than you already have so the sooner I stop thinking about you the better off I’ll be. I need to move on for my own sake and sanity. A part of you will always be with me though.