I always had the thought in the back of my head that you weren’t into me. You’re such a beautiful girl and you could be with whoever you want, so why would you want to be with a stupid introvert? You are so outgoing. I never knew what love was. Maybe I still don’t know. I thought I loved you. I gave you everything. My time. My love. Presents. And we shared moments together that I’ll never forget. I didn’t know how to talk to girls before you. You showed me my full potential. You boosted my confidence. I felt safe enough to ask you out.
You rejected me.
I didn’t let that get me down because I loved you. We hung out more. I can’t count the number of nights we simply cuddled under a blanket under the stars. We were closer than friends, but I felt scared to ask you out again. A kiss goodnight, but no more than that and I was contempt. There were no hidden motives. I just wanted to be with you, but apparently you didn’t want to be with me. We spent so much time together, but you never gave me a chance.
I was going to move away for college and I didn’t know what to think. the hints you gave me prior to me leaving were so obvious that even I could understand what you were trying to tell me. I gathered up my courage to try again.
I didn’t understand. I still don’t. And I’m here, seven hours away only wanting to be with you. Instead of a relationship, you wanted to continue our phone conversations, but I never called. I wanted to. I really wanted to. I want to right now, and it’s five in the morning, but I know that we’ll never get anywhere. Just teasing, because that’s who you are. I get it. Our friendship meant nothing to you. That’s okay, because I never needed you. I wanted you. I didn’t need to be with you, but I wanted to.
I’m trying to move on and it’s been seven months, but I’m too stupid to do so. I’m locked into the thought of what we could have been. But I know that you’d build me up only to reject me again. I want you to be happy. Whether that be with me, or some other guy.
So, I’m not going to initiate any communication with you. If you loved me back, you would call me, but you didn’t, and you won’t.
And still, I love you