What I want for you is what I want for myself and it shakes me that you are not who I think you are. When I look at you I don’t see that person but inevitably, that’s who you are. I’m not sure why I care so much, why I don’t want to give you up because I know that I have someone that loves me more than I could ever expect from someone. But I think there’s this other part of me that I could never be allowed to have with him that I can have with you and I love that person too. I desperately want you to find your way and I don’t know that I don’t want to be included in that. I prefer to shelter certain people and in turn compromise my own progress in working through these confusing thoughts. Why are you so special to me? Why can’t I have my cake and eat it too? I feel like my whole life I’ve been staring at this damn cake and I’ll never get a piece. It’s frustrating living for other people. Regardless, i’m disappointed to never have known the real you. I feel like no one is good enough for you and we both know you’re an asshole so that doesn’t make much sense but I really feel that way. Maybe its just who you are and it’s something that I’ll never understand. I just wish you had… I mean I guess we’ll never know.