You’re pretty attractive. let’s just get that out of the way. and you definitely know it too, which is fine. But do you realize how many attractive people there are in the world?? Hate to break it to you amigo but you’re not rare at all, the only thing unique about you is how you’ve survived this long with so few brain cells.
I know you think that I’M the stupid one, that I’m totally gonna wait by the phone for you to text me and then believe you when you say you wanna come over and “help me study” but seriously bro i wasn’t born yesterday. give me some fucking credit here.
That being said, though, I don’t mind getting together and fucking you every once in a while, but you’re gonna have to stop being so damn cocky and thinking I actually like you as a person. Also you’re gonna have to last just a weeeee bit longer in bed next time… if I’m gonna actually take the time to shave, shower, put on makeup, clean my room, etc, then i’m expecting a performance from you for more than like 3 minutes.
One more thing, when we go out and you hit on girls right in front of me, I’m not just gonna stand there and be sad, you better believe that I’m gonna walk away and find someone who’s more interesting than you. There are literally dozens of guys just like you in prettymuch every bar everywhere, so get over yourself.
your booty call
“If I ever get desperate or I’m so beyond faded, just ask.” -Ke$ha