i hate that you’re not here with me….holding me….loving me…just being with me…it kills me. and i don’t know why it kills me because by now i should be fed up with you and i’m not and it kills me that i’m not…and it scares me at the same time because now you know that you can mess up and i’ll still be there and that’s not good. i wish i was stronger..i really do…i wish i could get back at you and reallllyyyy show you i’ve felt but i can’t…it’s not in me to do that. i want to be in your arms…i want to be on my side of the bed, i want to know that you’re thinking of me…i want to know that it’s killing you just as it is me…i want you to know how crushed that picture really made me feel. here i am at home just wanting you to come home and everything be normal with us again and us be happy and your being just smothered in stress and being worried about so many things and i know none of it. i didn’t know you weren’t going to baylor…why didn’t you tell me…i didn’t know that things were so crazy with you…and i certainly didn’t know about that girl….and to see her in your arms and seeing you look so happy crushed my heart and felt like someone was stomping on it and laughing…you say no one will ever take my spot….