• You killed her.

    by  • March 17, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Grief, Those Gone Before Us • 3 Comments

    She’s Dead. I loved her and now because of you she’s dead.
    I never knew she would be the kind to kill herself, she was always so happy.
    I will never understand what happened that summer i left.
    All i know is i came back and she was dead.
    My best friend; My sister was dead.

    I remember when i left, she had mentioned you a few times. i know she had a crush on you but she was only seventeen && really she didn’t know who you were, she didn’t know all the stories that i had heard about you. i tried to tell her but you know how she can be; when she wants something she gets it.

    I remember a week later; i got a phone call. you had taken her on your first date, she had a great time and was convinced you had changed… she loved you already i could tell.

    I remember two months later, things had gotten serious and she called me once again.. This time with some “good” news. She was pregnant, she was so excited to tell you but what she didn’t know was you already knew.

    The last thing i remember is another phone call, she wasn’t on the other end. It was the police, they wanted to know who and what she had been doing for that last few weeks and what kind of trouble she had gotten into.. they wouldn’t tell me anything.

    I rushed home, i didn’t even pack i needed to see her. I went right to the police station and they brought me to her. she was dead, she had killed herself && you and i were the only people who knew why.

    The reason i am writing this on here is not because i’m scared o give this to you, it’s simply because i just need to get it off my chest and then forget about you…forever. some of the people who read this will be confused about what actually happened but that’s okay because it made me feel better to type it out & share it. To further explain this what happened was i went on a trip for school, my family and my sister stayed behind and my sister got involved with a bad man. when she got pregnant she planned to surprise him, she planned to move in together, and maybe even get married at some point. that’s not what he had in mind. He forced her to have an abortion, which she is 100% against & on that same day she hung herself in her bedroom. he never even seemed sad. Nobody will ever replace My sister and i will never forget about her, she was my life and i will always love her with all my heart. The fact that her whole life meant that little to you kills me. A part of me died that day, the day i saw her, & the day we had to tell our mother, & the day of her funeral. I will never be the same person because of you.

    I will never even look at you again.

    3 Responses to You killed her.

    1. writing_me
      March 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm

      What a terrible thing to be going through. I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope writing this letter made you feel better, if only a little bit.

    2. evey
      March 17, 2012 at 8:45 pm

      There’s nothing I or anyone could say to make you hurt less, and I’ve never had to go through the loss of someone very close to me (praise the lord), so I can’t say I even remotely know what you’re going through, but I just want to say that whoever this guy that did this is lower than the dirt on your shoes and deserves to be shot.

    3. Rose
      March 18, 2012 at 1:25 am

      @evey: As someone who has had to go through this loss (at least a similar situation, to a lesser degree), I can say that he does not deserve to get shot. Think of his family for fucksake.

      To the author…. the girl in my case didn’t even cry at my brother’s funeral. I was going to go make her cry, but my mother had the foresight to distract me while she was there. The guy you are writing this to obviously missed out on a great person. If he didn’t know her well enough to grieve, then it’s his loss. I hope it comforts you in a way to know that I can relate to your pain. I know that a part of you that was always, always there is missing now. I won’t tell you that it’s going to get better (and if your situation is anything like mine people will keep telling you this over and over), but it’s going to get easier. Eventually. I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.

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