If you read this, you’d probably know who you are. You were my first love, but you were oh so much more than that. You taught me what it was to love, to feel my heart break, to hate, to envy, to regret, to wish, to hold back tears, and to contain my varying emotions. You showed me that I was not always going to be able to control the outcome of situations, or relationships. Sometimes people change. But that’s life- most things aren’t going to work out the way you dreamed.
Sometimes I think about old times, how I used to get butterflies every time you smiled at me. The touch of your hands on mine. Your smell. And your eyes. So much was shared between us. You were my closest friend, I told you everything. Then you left. And I was alone, with a hole in my heart where you used to be. I kept you there, in my heart, for years. I found myself constantly replaying our memories together, though they brought me pain.
I still think about you from time to time. I wonder how you’ve changed. I wonder if you ever think about me. And I wonder if I meant as much to you as you did to me. I guess I will never know, but for some reason, I am okay with that. Things happened the way they were meant to. Not everything in life has a simply explanation. All I can do is accept what happened between us- the good and the bad. I believe that I am a stronger person because of it.
I still love you in a way. I’m sure that I always will.