• I don’t know

    by  • March 17, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    the first time i ever met you, i didn’t think you would have as big an impact on my life as you have.. it was a few days before my 15th birthday….I’m now 18. My friends told me you thought I was beautiful, and amazing. I ended up dating my escort from my party a few days after, but you began texting me, and calling me every night… i would put my boyfriend on hold to talk to you on the other line and sneak out at night to see you… I dont know what it was about you that just had me fascinated…I should have known that you were heartbroken over your ex though, maybe if I had known that, i don’t know, I wouldn’t have fallen so hard for you..

    I broke up with my boyfriend for you, and looking back i know that was a mistake..
    I would have done anything for you, and you wouldnt have cared…we didnt even have sex till half a year after we met, but i feel like if i wouldnt have had sex with you, maybe things would have been different. We have been on and off every couple of months for the past 3 years…the last time we were together you had sex with another girl..I was so hurt by you…it took me a long time to get over that..im not even sure if i am over it by now…I want so badly to now feel anything when i hear your name, or see your updates on facebook but i cant help it…im still so in love with you, and I think what hurts is that everytime we stop talking, you always leave me without an answer…One day I think its perfect, and the next…well, we wouldnt talk for days…maybe it was my fault…i don’t know, i think that’s the problem I JUST DON’T KNOW. i don’t know what i did wrong, i don’t know what i did right, i don’t know what i did to deserve for you to have sex with another girl in your truck while we were together, i don’t know how you could hurt someone who loves you so much…

    I don’t think I’ll ever get over you until I know for sure, but I can’t bring myself to ask.

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