• Love Interruption

    by  • March 16, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love, Waxing Poetic • 9 Comments

    There’s a girl who always thought she was the strong one.
    The girl who does what she wants.
    The girl who doesn’t let anyone or anything change who she is.
    The girl who never fell for a boy, because love wasn’t worth the pain.
    And then all of a sudden, that strong, innocent girl…

    Met you.
    And she fell.
    The rocky walls that surrounded her heart crumbled.
    And she tumbled down with the avalanche.

    And that strong girl who does what she wants…
    She became so intertwined with you that she allowed you not only into her life…
    But into her heart.

    The initial lust quickly turned into infatuation…
    Which soon turned into love.
    Pure love.
    Pure, innocent love that made her head spin, her heart flutter, and her tummy tingle.
    And those six months…
    Those six glorious months, she thought of nothing but you.

    And that’s when she realized her mistake.
    Her head was clouded.
    Her heart grew to abnormal proportions.
    And the strong girl who put her family first, herself second, and boys last…
    Realized she forgot everything else and put the boy first.

    So she let the boy go.
    And three months later, she still loves you.
    Three months later, she yearns for you, and it scares her.
    Three months later, that strong girl lays in her bed every night…

    And she cries.

    9 Responses to Love Interruption

    1. Sir D
      March 16, 2012 at 10:24 pm

      It’s not too late probably. Maybe it is though; depends on how hurtful the breakup was.

      A phone call is free and if you hear hate on the other end of the line, then you know. If not, you can talk and see if you can find a way through it all.

      But laying there miserable, crying yourself to sleep, is no solution.

    2. Author
      March 17, 2012 at 6:52 am

      ahh, if only it were that simple. doing so is virtually impossible. Right now anyway. I won’t share the whole story with you, but trust me. Being with him is not only illogical, its unhealthy. Because he lives very far away. Theres a lot more to it than that, but i won’t bore you. And i’m not miserable by any means. I am an extremely happy girl who loves her life, but I simply feel like he’s a missing piece. And that makes me sad, mostly at night when i’m free to think about it. Because there’s nothing i CAN do about it. Perhaps someday, but not now.

    3. Sir D
      March 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm

      Gotta admit I was half hoping you were someone else. All the pieces fit except for the far away bit.

      If lines of communication are not possible due to the unsaid circumstances than chances are good you will both move on. Life is like that; words can both keep us together and push us apart

    4. evey
      March 17, 2012 at 9:10 pm

      My situation was almost identical to this. I submitted a letter of the same nature to here and of course still kept quiet about how i felt. Finally i got the balls to send a revised letter fourth months later, and it was too late, but crazily, it didn’t bother me. What i really needed all along was for him to know, and then i was able to move on. I’m not sure if this guy knows how you feel or not, but i urge you if he doesn’t.. Send this letter. It was the first time I ever put myself out there.. and I got anniahlated.. but you know what? It felt great. Send this.

    5. Author
      March 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

      Sir D- I hope you’re right. Because right now this kinda sucks. I hate that I can’t stop thinking about him, because I shouldd be able to just let him go. And I can’t, and I want to so bad. But that’s just not how my heart feels. And I hope you resolve things with the person you used to be with <3

      evey- Good for you, that really is fantastic. Always say what you feel, it's not worth it to bottle it up. My guy, however, knows how I feel. He knows every little bit of how I feel, because I wrote him a letter right after I ended us. A letter letting him know that no matter what, I'll always love him, and that I hope some day we will actually be able to be together. Now just isn't the right time. But I don't actually know if there ever will be a right time, and that's what's killing me.

    6. Sir D
      March 18, 2012 at 11:58 pm

      You know something, when guys get a Dear John letter, or get told in person, they sorta expect to see/hear “but I’ll always love you.” It’s a parachute to soften the blow to us. Not that it’s unappreciated but it doesn’t have the impact you think it does.

      “If she loves me so much, why haven’t I heard from her? Why should I contact her? She showed me the door and here I am, not a word from her. “I’ll love you always my ass.” Yes, that’s what goes through a guy’s head. While you’re going, “I told him I’ll love him forever. That should be enough to hold him through while I sort out my own feelings. He should trust me enough to believe that” and, lo and behold, next thing you know he’s moved on and with someone else leaving you far behind.

      You said, “he knows every little bit of how I feel.” You know what goes through a guy’s head when he’s booted to the curb, regardless of the reason? His own feelings – why should he think about yours? What you propose he go through is called the hamster wheel; the thoughts go round and round, chasing each other, what he said, what you said, over and over and the end result is always the same. He’s sitting there without you. He’s not thinking about your feelings now no matter how eloquently you explained them in your Dear John letter. Men are much simpler than that: “remote – give. Beer – get. Sex – want. Dear John letter – got.” Yes, really.

      Call him. Write him. Hop a plane and go to him. If you sit on your bed and think about how it should be, it won’t be.

    7. Author
      March 19, 2012 at 5:39 am

      I know you’re trying to help, Sir D, however seeing as you don’t know the whole situation (and there is QUITE a situation), your advice to communicate with him is not possible. I have parents that are preventing me from doing that, among other things. And he knows all of it. He knows everything that is holding us apart. I understand what you’re saying about what goes through a guy’s head, but this situation is a little different from the normal “dear john letter” as you put it. Iit is not that type of letter but I can see the comparison. Anyway, for now my only option is to wait it out and see what happens. And until somethings happens, I will be thinking of how it should be. And if nothing happens, then so be it. I’ll live. It’s just a boy. But there’s always that “what if?”. That freaking “what if” is what’s driving me nuts.

    8. DC
      March 19, 2012 at 1:09 pm

      Okay. If nothing else you can tuck that info away for future reference.

      “what if” can be a real back breaker and can easily drive you nuts.

      Yesterday is done and in changeable. Tomorrow is not yet done. All you have is right now. Just breath.

    9. Author
      March 20, 2012 at 6:59 am

      I know. I’ve realized that. You’re right. Time to go back to going with the flow for now. Whatever happens, happens.

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