• ….

    by  • March 15, 2012 • Anger • 6 Comments

    If my mom doesn’t loosen my fucking leash, I will go insane. I’m going to be 19 years old, I hate drinking, never done any drugs, never party, never had a real bf, still a virgin, yet I’m not allowed to do anything. I have to ask permission for everything. If I wanna go out to eat with a friend, if I want to go to my friends. Then I have to constantly keep her updated. Seriously, it’s getting ridiculous. I have never given her a reason to not trust me, NEVER. She knows I’m a good kid. So what is her deal?! Her over-protection is something every single person close to me realizes, and it’s beginning to give me panic attacks. I don’t know what to do about it, I need to move out… But will I even be allowed to?

    6 Responses to ….

    1. GG
      March 16, 2012 at 12:50 am

      I kind of know where you’re coming from, I graduated a year early from high school so I was barley 17 when I graduated. My parents rule was until I’m 18, I’m under their rule. Call when I move, who I’m with, what I’m doing and when I’ll be home.
      Yeah, it’s annoying as fuck. To be honest though, it keeps them from worrying.
      However, the leash you’re on is pretty fucking short. Talk to your mom, explain you’re an adult and should be treated as such. Just make sure that once you’re treated like an adult, you act like one.

      I can’t do much else from there but I hope it goes well for you.

    2. Sir D
      March 16, 2012 at 4:53 am

      It’s hard to let go as a parent. You’ll always be her little girl even when she’s in a nursing home and you’re a grandma yourself. And at that point you’ll be in a position to understand.

      That doesn’t help you much right now though except to give you perspective. Have a talk (not an argument) with her. You ARE over 18 – you’re old enough to get married without permission, to sacrifice your life for your country, sign contracts without a co-signer. In short you can do anything you want but drink (legally). You can even move out and she can’t do a thing to stop you except play the guilt card.

      Consider this a test of your new adulthood; finding a way to cut the apron strings without cutting the heart strings.

    3. i hear ya
      March 16, 2012 at 7:22 am

      that is EXACTLY how my mom was when i was your age a few years ago. i hated her for it. i felt like i was the only one out of my friends that had to deal with that bullshit, and it drove me CRAZY. but now at the age of 25 and looking back, i am so thankful to have had such a caring and loving mom. it takes A LOT of energy to love and care about someone as much as your mom does for you. it would be so much easier for her to let you go wherever you want whenever you want, but she cares. and she’s trying to keep you safe. it’s hard to see now, but your mom has the hardest job in the world and it sounds like shes doing a great job. she loves you enough to put your safety first, even if that means putting her life on hold and risking you being mad at her. one day you will thank her, i promise šŸ™‚

    4. :)
      March 16, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      No matter the age your parents will always treat you like their child. You could be 30 and they would still want to baby you just like before. They just need to come to terms with you being an adult. But as long as you are living in their home you must follow their rules. If they want you to inform them where you go, then that is all you can do. You may hate it but the only thing you can do is be patient. I know that it is hard. Sometimes you will just want to scream in frustration. Finding an outlet for your frustration would be good. I’m sure there will be times where a normal conversation about feeling overly coddled and protected will turn into an argument. Just step back and calm down. I know that when I deal with my parents I sometimes revert back to a six year old. Just like parents ,out of habit, revert back to the all-seeing, all-knowing mom or dad. A mom/dad who can put you in time-out, go through your things, and get hourly reports of what you are doing or plan to do.

    5. Susie
      March 16, 2012 at 10:35 pm

      If your mom is like mine, then you might end up like me. I went crazy in college, no not drinking or partying, but with relief. It was wonderful to not be told what I can and can’t do. Not being told what to eat or being confined to the house. I can say at 22 that I understand my Mom doing things that way, but I still don’t agree with her. My Mom is controlling to the point that it’s toxic. There’s an escape but you have too run to the ends of the Earth and for that I’m still storing up energy and money.
      If you’re like me then you’ll want to get away. I hope your Mom is toxic for the right reasons instead of the wrong ones. Mine is in it to pretend we’re a perfect family, when we are not. Even after the divorce she clings to it. It’s unhealthy and there’s not much you can do about it as a minor. Trust me. I’ve tried. She found a way to get me out of foster care against my will. Perhaps you have a less extreme case. But I’m hoping you can hold out a bit longer. You can do it!

    6. Susie
      March 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm

      Oh, you’re not a minor, but until you get out of the house things won’t get better.

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