• Epiphany

    by  • March 13, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Inspiration • 1 Comment

    Hard to believe but it just dawned on me

    I don’t need you to be happy
    I have everything I ever really wanted from life
    I have cut all ties of my past life and lovin’ it
    I am free
    Okay I am broke and at a point in my life I never thought to find myself in ever again
    BUT I owe nobody a thing anymore, in fact, if anything, many owe me
    No regrets and left behind, including anger and sorrow
    Clean slate, nothing, nothing holding me, pushing me, telling me anything anymore
    Everything bound to free will, mine
    I am finally allowed to be, be me and nothing else
    I am sorry, but I know now, that I don’t need you to be happy
    All I need is a decent job that will support my needs, and everything else
    will fall into place (I don’t need a fortune)
    My happiness are little things mostly and something that you won’t give me anyway
    Last hurdle, the very last one …the rest is easy
    I love you but I don’t need you
    I want you but I don’t want the drama you so seem to love
    Maybe I don’t really know what it is I want, but I very much know
    what I DON’T want anymore
    You snug into my life and turned me inside out
    You are everything I was ever searching for….
    Except one thing, you are not strong enough for me
    You are closest to what I never believed in existed, but maybe it just doesn’t
    I need a man to capture and hold me – you think you already have me
    You’re wrong, unless you’d actually claim what’s yours, it never really is

    I don’t know the future and actually beginning to like it this way

    I’m telling myself
    just a job
    a job
    a job and I am good at so many things, I’ll make it
    I’ll make it soon
    A decent job is ALL I really need because I do HAVE everything else, and more then you will ever understand

    With or without you, but I wish you’d come along for the last ride of a lifetime

    This IS my year to reclaim life – and I am doing it
    I love reality, all of it
    It’s what I know best
    It’s what I do best
    It’s who I am
    Immense load of pain but endless beauty just as well

    My last ride to conquer the world, ONE world, mine for all
    Windmills here I come and they will be no more

    One Response to Epiphany

    1. Rose
      March 14, 2012 at 11:29 am

      Good luck to you. Maybe you’ll meet someone strong enough along the way. šŸ™‚

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