• Dominated

    by  • March 13, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. You were young, still had some chubbiness and lacked experience, but I thought you were adorable and attractive and wonderful. You were my biggest fan when I needed it most. I was a Junior; you were a freshman.

    We lost touch a bit, but always crossed paths. You said I was your inspiration.

    Then, we were friends. Then best friends. Now you were tall, and attractive, and others wanted you. You had a girlfriend. She was trash. She didn’t love you like I could.

    When she broke your heart, I was there. We shared moments. I held you while you cried, supported you when you were weak. I did whatever I could to make you happy.

    Then you started dating someone else. Ugh. Such a rebound. I knew from the first moment that she was no good. None at all. Then she broke up with you and I was there for that too. Finally, you were single. Maybe you would love me like I had come to realize I loved you. But no. You still loved trash. You let her pull you around and tease and torture you while i waited faithfully here. I was the one who felt the storm when you were angry, who tended to your wounds when you were hurt and opened my heart to you to make you feel better.

    I should never have told you that i loved you. then that i liked you. You just wanted to have sex and I was so in love that I would have. I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!!! I spent so many sleepless nights worrying over you. So many nights angry at those stupid girls for ruining a perfect man. That’s what you were to me. PERFECT. Perfect for me. You’d get angry and stop talking to me and I’d talk on and give you my all just to make sure you were okay.

    So much more happened but it’s not worth writing. The point is, I love you with everything i have. I would have given you everything you ever wanted. I would have given you everything and anything I have. But now I realize that it’s not me and it never will be. So i am walking away. Running, really. I am running to the place where i can try and save myself. My heart cannot live on with you around. I don’t want to hurt you, but right now you’re not talking to me anyway. Maybe you never will again. Who knows? I have to let you go, though. You’re not mine. The fact is: YOU DON’T LOVE ME. at least not like i love you.

    So i’m walking away. You dominated me from that first moment and now i am dominating myself.

    Goodbye.

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