• Dear 18 Year Old Me:

    by  • March 13, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    You’ll never believe this when I tell you but you fall in love, you fall really hard. Harder than you could ever imagine, to someone who you thought was perfect for you only to realize he is completely wrong for you. He tells you what you want to hear, he confesses his love, opens up entirely to you as he’s never done to someone else, but that causes you to open up as well which is a huge mistake. Throughout the relationship, you believe it is the best one you’ll ever have, with so much love. But there are a whole bunch of controversy’s to come as well so brace yourself. Whenever you two go out, you become upset because every second you are afraid of losing him, of him cheating on you. This partially ruins your relationship. For Valentines day, he almost cheats on you, this night is one the worst nights you two have ever had together. He explains he was telling her that he was not single but everyone knows he didn’t have to tell her sitting down, alone in the corner of the nightclub. To be blunt, he was only sorry that you caught him before he made a solid move. He runs after you though, confesses his love, his enormous amount of love, and you believe him again. Well that’s a mistake too.
    Your 19th birthday sucks. It is again a night out with him and you still cannot trust him so it leads to extensive yelling and crying all evening. This partially ruins your relationship. You never trusted him and you never will. A month later, you get the dreadful news: you are pregnant. This absolutely kills you, breaks you down, and will mess you up for months after to come but you won’t realize it until you think about it. It’s an extremely tough situation for both of you, and he does say he’ll stand by you with whatever decision you make, but let’s be honest, you can’t and won’t have the child. You get an abortion and that eats away at your soul, your mind and it slightly starts to ruin you, along with the relationship. Two weeks after your surgery, low and behold, he finally has the nerve to cheat on you while you are at his house, from leaving the bar early, puking your guts out and passing out in the bathroom.

    However, he doesn’t tell you right away. He hangs out with you the next day, completely normal, and even the next day after that. It’s the night of the second normal day where even the night was looking wonderful but turned to shit. You are designated driver and he is drinking. He gets belligerent and you two have a talk in the bedroom. He breaks up with you, claiming he isn’t good enough for you, and leaves you crying your heart out in the bedroom. This night by far is the worst night you two will ever have. He tells you the next day that the night you were at his house sick to his stomach, he made out with a girl who he doesn’t even remember the name, outside the bar you two were both at. This is the reason he broke your heart. You forgive him AGAIN (huge mistake) and you two are so happy for the next few weeks, until you move away for the summer. Then shit really gets messed up. He breaks up with you.
    For Good.

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