• Cupcake Man

    by  • March 13, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Thinking of you • 0 Comments

    Joe/Reid/Whoever you are,

    I miss you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you lately. Last time we talked was on November 26 (122 days ago). So many things I have seen lately remind me of you. I saw a license plate with three numbers from your phone number.

    I hate it when people say I’m beautiful, because it reminds me of how you used to say “Hey Beautiful” multiple times a day.

    Every time I wear my WVU shirt I remember all the failed times we were supposed to see each other. And it still hurts.

    I want to call you, I haven’t forgotten your phone number, or your voice, and how you say, “Mandaaa” when you’re mad or bored or “hungry.” Remember me asking Maggie if her and James have been to WVU? Hahaha.

    Remember in the summer when we became friends again and we both cried because we missed each other so much and just wanted to see each other? And because it was so hard.

    Remember I’m your cupcake woman, and you’re my cupcake man? Remember how I told you drunkenly on my 21st that I love you? I did. I loved you so much. You were my Virginia boy. These are the good things that flood my memory.
    I miss you a lot, but you probably hate me, and I’m scared things would go back to the way they were before. I’d ask for the truth and you’d tell me a lie. I would go on believing it until I find out and be crushed again. It’s hard to love a liar.

    You never should’ve said the alcoholism thing about my uncle. You crossed the line. You were my best friend and I didn’t want to lose you, but you were making me do it. Your lies and jealousy games seemed like intentional ways to hurt me. If you didn’t let your fear get in the way, we would still be together. I was scared too, believe me, but I decided you were more important than fear. Despite everything, if you would put your fear aside, tell me who you really are, and prove it, I would take you back without a doubt.

    I know that will never happen, so now I’m just focusing on my relationship with God and waiting for everything He has in store for me.

    I’m doing well and I hope you are too. I love you(SOOOO MUCH).


    I’m not over you just yet.

    I couldn’t bring myself to call, except to call it quits
    Best Friends,
    ex friends to the end,
    better off as lovers,
    not the other way around

    I’m getting old and I need something to rely on,
    So tell me when you’re gonna let me in,
    I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

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