I met this boy about 5 months ago here at college. It started with him having an interest in me, I came around him more often and started to have a little crush on him. I’m a freshman in college and I’ve only dated one guy in my life. I was a Junior in High School and we only dated for 3 months. We only kissed twice, I felt nervous and scared around him. So while most the girls in my school were losing their virginity, I was lost. It never crossed my mind, and any guy that I talked to I always would find something wrong with them. After I met this guy here at college, I started to really like him. I often thought about the fact that I could lose my virginity to him.
In college that’s all people talk about. Sex, drugs and alcohol. This guy and I never kissed cause once again he intimidated me. He is the bad boy type and I knew something had to be wrong for him to like me. It was his birthday about a month ago. Him and I along with a bunch of his friends were hanging out and drinking. I got really really drunk and don’t remember alot of the evening. After waking up in my own bed the next morning I sat piecing together as much of the evening as I could.
After I found out I had thrown up for the first time, and acted the way that I did, I was kind of embarrassed. I apologized to everyone who was there, but soon learned it didn’t really matter. Before you jump to conclusion, I did not have sex with this boy. I didn’t even kiss him. He now talks to everyone around him about me, saying that I was a waste of time, and that I wouldn’t put out. I want to lose my virginity. I really do!
I just need a little reassurance that I’m not a ‘prude’, or that there is such a thing as love in this world. That I’m not a freak, just because I want to be in love?
I just really feel lost and honestly alone because I am a virgin. I need to know that just cause I haven’t made out with a guy that it will be okay, and I won’t be single forever. I just need help or advice, or anything that will help.