• Enough

    by  • March 12, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Art of the Letter • 0 Comments

    Dear CMH,

    Where to start?

    You’re becoming annoying. I can’t talk to you because you don’t talk. I can’t unfriend you on facebook because you’ll just get upset and that spurs you on to message me. There’s no way of getting rid of you quietly. So I’ve just privatized my entire online life so that you can’t see it. I won’t message you. I won’t skype you. And we’ll never meet. I’m done.

    I am brilliant. No no, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not being egotistical. I just know my own worth. And I’m not going to be ashamed of it anymore. I’m not going to be modest because being modest hasn’t got me very far, and it’s not modesty really. It’s self-deprecating behaviour. So I’m just going to be blatant. I’m pretty, funny, intelligent, interesting, adventurous, exciting, a go-getter, relaxed, understanding, supportive, loyal, honest and open. I am not perfect, but I am great.

    What annoys me about you is that you are completely lovely, you are. But you rely on girls for your self-esteem. This isn’t good enough for me. I want a man who has his own air of confidence. Someone who also, knows his worth. Someone who uses his mind to seduce a woman, not flattery. Someone who only speaks the truth. Who carries himself with grace.

    You are lost. You are insecure. You have far too much going on in your life. This is fine. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s just not for me. I want someone who’s got themselves a little more sorted out. It’s not about being in a certain place in your life. It’s not about school, jobs or anything like that. It’s a state of mind. I like who I am and I’m not going to allow anyone to treat me as an after-thought. I am not an option. I am a priority. Maybe one day you’ll be the kind of guy I can get on board with. But not now.

    Life is too short. I am not going to be one of many. Facebook can be seen by anyone you know? I see you liking other girls’ photos. I see your comments. I know you have your options open. Which is fine. But you said you weren’t a showman. I think you’re the ultimate showman. Your actions are so much louder than your words. Your lack of action is so much louder than anything you could ever say. Find someone else who will deal with everything.

    You told me a while ago not to put down what we have. You used the ‘l’ word. I told you not to throw that word around. Then you gave me a hard time saying that I was putting it down. Well, I don’t think it was uncalled for. And I was right. Of course I was. I always am. When it comes to stuff like this, I’m always right.

    I’m vowing to myself to never trust anyone else’s take on the situation ever again. I’m going to let the voice inside my gut scream. And I’m going to listen. I’m going to stop making things seem logical for my mind.
    On that note, I’m going to stop talking to you. I can see you’re busy. I can see there are other girls. I can see that you’re not enough for me. You could be. One day. But not now. Not like this. You need to grow up.

    Good luck in doing that, I wish you all the best.


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