• Those past few years

    by  • March 11, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    Dear D,

    I remember everything. I remember in 5th grade when Mrs. O had us take pictures. It wasn’t the first time I noticed you. I noticed you when we played around the world in fourth grade. I thought you were so cute. Still, this intense feeling happened when I looked at you. You felt like a protector during those few years. You and J were the closest friends I had.

    I remember my sister and I always peed our pants. We played basketball with you and J. I still remember how awful you played in fifth grade (trumpet.) It was a great relief that we all were terrible. You would grow up to play music very beautifully. I would quit band in 9th grade.

    I remember facing Amber outside the hallway. You went out, and I still don’t know why. you didn’t have curly hair then. i felt like you were protecting me.

    eighth grade was difficult. we had tech class together. i was going through some personal pain. i remember in mrs. n’s class you kept on pulling pranks. that made me so happy. and then you befriended a and actually slept over at his house. i was too shy. you played ball with him and dana, and tyle, your. my sister and i peeked out our window.

    i also remember asking you how to use a hot glue gun…it was the only attempt i made to actually know you. i always wished that you would get me a rose. even though everyone thought i was dating james, i couldn’t.

    10th grade..you left in tenth grade. i fell into a deep depression. i planned on never telling you that i loved you. i barely knew you after all. we ran in different circles.

    everyone liked you. in fact you had an actual crush club…jerrica, hannah, ariella, alexis…in fact i think you dated all four of them.

    i just wish i had gotten to know you better. sometimes i wish to still see your face. another part of me feels like i would literally collapse (faint.)

    i am happy now. i am stable now. i am confident now.
    i just wonder if you are too.
    im sorry if i ruined any relationship you had when i emailed you.
    i’m letting go.

    sincerely n (remember me)

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