I wonder if you’re happy now. I wonder if you’re happier now that you’ve ruined my life, left me alone in the dark, while you let your skewed, self-centered, untrue story out into the world like I was the one who ruined your life.
I hope you’re happy now. I hope you’re happy despite the very public suicide attempt, the very public outbursts of tears and suicidal tendencies, the very public abuse you hurled at me behind my back.
I hope you’re happy that your friends throw me dirty looks and glares every time they see me, and mine are now your friends too. I hope you’re happy that my friends would rather let you say all the mean things you want without defending me, and our acquaintances join in the abuse unwittingly sometimes because they don’t know the full story.
I hope you’re happy with all the attention you’re getting, I hope you’re happy you outed me, I hope you’re happy you shoved me straight into the depression I spent years climbing out of.
I hope you’re happy with the cuts on my arms, my thighs, my hips. I hope you’re happy with the nights I took too many pills on purpose. I hope you’re happy that while everyone is patting your poor wounded heart, I wake up in the mornings to plaster on a brave smile and pretend that all the “last nights” didn’t happen, that I never cried myself to sleep, brand myself with blades and knives, stood at the window waiting for the moment I have enough courage to finish it.
I hope you’re happy, I truly do, because I have your girlfriend now, she’s mine. I hope you’re happy you drove away the person you loved so much because you just couldn’t get a hold on yourself. I hope you’re happy you made our lives miserable for so long we finally realized that we couldn’t care less what the world thinks anymore.
But most of all, I hope you’re happy, truly happy, one day, because you’ve finally moved on. I hope you find peace.