• Older Man Wants 18 Year Old

    by  • March 9, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Advice • 0 Comments

    To You, The Older Man,
    We are close friends and we speak the truth to one another. I want to tell you why why sleeping with an 18 year old woman, *clears my throat, I mean girl, is not a good idea. I think I can speak for many 18 year old girls when I say, at that age, all they want is to fall in love. It’s not that she doesn’t want sex, but she wants love AND sex, and you can’t give her that. I know you, and I know you don’t want a relationship with her, you just want to have sex with her. Sure, you’ll be as nice as you are with her as you are with me. I know you have a good heart. This is not about judging you. If she sleeps with you, I promise you, later she will regret it. She’s just too young. You can have all the sexual fantasies you want, but if you sleep with her, she will feel violated later, even if she consents. She’s just too young to know better. Also, because you guys work together, she will have the added layer of feeling uncomfortable around you. What she did in the spur of the moment will probably feel bad afterwords, feel really empty, because it’s not love, it’s just sex. She may have followed her libido, but afterwords she will realize that you don’t love her, and that even if you do, she feels you are way to old for her. You need to protect her and instead you will go ahead and sleep with her if she wants to. I’m not saying she shouldn’t have sex at 18, she may have already… but in my opinion, it’s SO much better for her if she is in a high-school sweetheart or early college relationship (or somewhat older, just NOT 30some years older)!It would be more than lovely if she could be with someone who was close in age, someone who loves her, someone she can have sex with that doesn’t know what he’s doing either, someone she can share her self-discovery with. In my heart, I wish her that. Secondly, maybe if she were with someone older, just not THAT much older, and she found a loving relationship with him. He might show her that she is worthy, despite what her parents are saying. Of course, my 17 year old boyfriend did that for me. It can work that way too. She is still so young that she is completely enmeshed with her relationship with her parents. Her identity may be tied to them. If they treat her really badly, she may turn to sex with a man such as yourself, but she may regret it later. She will probably feel really empty (because what she really wants deep down is to be loved, and what you really want is sex). I KNOW she will get her heart broken at some point, maybe even by a guy who is young and immature… but it will be a much different experience. HE may have wanted just sex with her, but at least she will have loved him. She will feel horrible about herself if he treats her like crap, but that’s just how life goes. You may wonder why that is any different. I have to say, it just is, because maybe she will find a boy or man that loves her, in addition to the sex… someone who she is more intellectually and emotionally compatible with… It may sound like a double standard, but I promise you it isn’t. When I was in my 20’s I fell in love with an 18 year old, so I know it can happen, and so in a way I feel hypocritical, but not that much. You are more than 30 years older than her. I promise you, it’s not a good idea. Please try to consider how young she is. Even in my 20s, I was still trying to figure out who the hell I was. I felt empty sometimes, because I was not a full being yet. I looked to sex to fulfill my needs for affection, and to feel, if only for that moment, that I was loved. Afterwords, I felt even less loved than I did before I had sex. Please look at her with your heart, and not your, um, you know. Please have a million sexual fantasies about her, but leave it at that…understand, you are her boss. She is just becoming a woman and she’s still incredibly naive. Please, please, don’t sleep with an 18 year old girl. Sincerely, Me

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