This is just a letter to the universe, really – some random things are on my mind tonight, and there isn’t anyone specific I can really tell them to.
First off – I am SO RIDICULOUSLY PLEASED with today, because the guy I like talked to me. We live in different cities and only ever talk on Facebook, and are hovering in a weird place where I’m unsure if we’re friends or flirting and on the edge of something else, so I try not to talk to him every time I see him online – I don’t want to bother him or seem overly eager, so I try to only talk to him when I actually have something to say or honestly want a good conversation. Initially, I was the one who started most of our conversations, although they sometimes would go for hours so it wasn’t like he was disinterested, but lately he’s started talking to me first. That’s what happened today. TWICE. AND he asked for my number, so he could text me if he ever wanted to talk and one or both of us weren’t on Facebook. There was also a lot of not-terribly-subtle me-stalking going on while we talked – he was going through a Facebook note survey I’d done and asking me about the answers, and let it slip that he’d been looking through a blog I have. It was all just very warm-fuzzies inducing, and made me lean much more towards the flirting, on the edge of something else theory, which is really lovely. I really like this guy; he’s witty, he’s sarcastic, he’s educated, he makes me laugh, and he’s cute into the bargain. The only real bummer in the situation is that he lives two hours away, but I think we could work around that if we decided we wanted to date. For now, I’m just going to enjoy things as they come, and bask in how nice today was.
Although there was a very odd moment in regards to someone else, a close friend who I haven’t seen a lot of recently. We were texting today, and he told me that he and his girlfriend (another friend) had started having sex – which threw me for a little bit of a loop, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s that I’m not used to having close friends who are guys (I have not been all that shocked in the past when female friends told me the same sort of thing), so I was taken aback that he would share this with me. I get the feeling, though, that he doesn’t have a lot of people he can tell, and he wanted to share it with someone he could trust. We were part of a very tight-knit group of friends that imploded pretty spectacularly over the course of the past year or so, and out of all of them I’m pretty much the only one he’s still got an undamaged relationship with – one none of us talk to anymore, one he broke her heart, one broke his heart, and one just pisses him off beyond repairing anything – and while he has good friends from back home, a lot of his college friends he hasn’t gotten close enough to that sharing something like this would be doable. He was a virgin before this, so I know this is huge to him – heck, she was his first kiss too, so this is a big step for him. I’m proud and honored, in a way, that he would share it with me, but I’m also worried that there will be repercussions when other people find out. Still, I’m glad he’s happy now, and happy with her, and that their relationship has gotten to that level of trust and intimacy, and I’m just hoping that if our old group of friends finds out that they can be happy for him and not make it into something hurtful.