• Thank You

    by  • March 8, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Forgiveness • 0 Comments

    You ruined it. Everything.
    And you wanna know what? I believe her. I do! As much as I say “oh, I’m neutral, I’m not getting involved”, I believe her.
    I think you knew deep down that something was off. Something was not right.
    You ruined my entire year. Frankly, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

    I don’t think I’ll ever completely put my trust in a new person again. I’m screwed up. My emotions. My feelings towards those of the same gender. Because of you everyone hated us. Do you know what it’s like? Trying to support someone that everyone says is a liar? It’s awful. You lose yourself along the way and you won’t believe how long it took me to feel normal again.

    You were awesome. We all loved you. We had such amazing times. Why did you have to go and screw it up? Why? I had never been so close with people.

    Truth is I cry. Not a lot, but sometimes. I miss you and it kills me to say it but I do. I think about all the fun we all had. I look back on the pictures of our countless crazy nights together and it truly saddens me because I know I will never feel that way again. And it makes me so mad! WHY?! Honestly?! I hate you so much for what you did. For all the things you said about her and me and certain others. I hate you. There I said it. I don’t know why its so hard for me to get out.

    I hate you. I miss you. But most of all I wanna thank you. Without what you did I would never be where I am now. Yeah I’m unhappy sometimes but honestly I’m with the best boyfriend and I don’t think our relationship would be the same if it hadn’t been for you. You were/are best friends yet he still loves me and I think it makes our relationship stronger. I fear for the poor girl you’re dating now for that you will one day do the same to her as you did before and I hope she proves you guilty again. As much as I want to wish you a full and happy life, but first you need help. I hope you get some because I think you need it.

    I want you to know I forgive you. Because I am finally starting to let go. Its hard sometimes yes, but I deserve to be happy and I guess you do too.

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