I don’t even really know where to start with this. There are so many things I have wanted to say to you, but it probably wouldn’t matter if I did just like when I tried to talk to you last time and you ignored me, after everything we have been through for all these years and you just push me aside like I never mattered. I was always there for you even after all the hurt you put me through, I forgave you each and every time for everything you did and let you back in. I gave you everything I could give of myself and I never asked for anything in return except for your love, I guess that was too much.
You will never know how much I love you because you never gave me the chance to show you, You will never know how many times I cried over you, How many times I prayed for you and still do, How many times I worried over you. I wished for nothing but good things for you, Even when you chose her over me, I wanted nothing but for you two to be happy.
Every time I think I am starting to get to a good place and I can let you go you come back into my life and things start all over again, I don’t know how to tell you no.
I wish you would just stop because I know you are never going to give me what I want, what I have so desperately wished and prayed for all this time, this is killing me and I cant continue to do this. So next time you decide to come back, don’t just stay away..as much as I want you, I cant hold on anymore.
That’s what this is with us it’s a constant back and forth cycle, it’s like we cant hold onto each other when the time comes and we are together but we cant let go of each other either.
Maybe someday in the distant future when all of this is behind me and I can honestly say I am free, if that day ever comes, we can be friends or at least be able to see each other from a distance and smile or wave.