I don’t know where this is going. It’s dangerous ground. My friend keeps telling me, “Fire and Danger.” The thing is, I really like being around you. When I see you walk in the door, we catch each other’s eyes and smile.
Last night you told me I’m a bad influence on you, and maybe I am. Maybe you’re a bad influence on me. You say things that make me laugh and joke. You’re witty, cute, literate, and communicative together. There’s something about you. I already feel like it’s an emotional affair. We’re tied together. We love being around each other.
I’ve been in a friendship with attraction before. I know this feeling well. Of course, in that friendship it was possibly one sided. Is it now? I don’t think so. You always want to touch me, hug me, or be next to me when we’re together.
But, we’re going to hurt each other. And, we’re going to hurt our spouses if we keep this up. I can’t act on it, and I think last night when we were chatting you cut it off to go to bed, because you realized we were crossing a line. Can we both keep that self control, when we both like each other so much? I don’t want to be responsible for the failure of your family, and I know you don’t want to be responsible for mine.
I often question cross-gender friendships, and because of this I’m really uncertain whether girls and boys can be just friends. Do the feelings always crop up in between? Am I reading you wrong? I know you don’t want to hurt your wife. I also know that we’re both having marriage problems, and maybe because we have so much in common and we get along so well it’s easy to lean on each other for support.
Where do I go from here? I spent the whole night, awake in bed, thinking of that simple question.