It happened again last night. And this morning. You entered my head as he was entering me. I wanted it to be you. I pretended he was. When I closed my eyes, You made love to me for hours and I to you. I didn’t want you to leave, but when I opened my eyes, you undoubtedly did. In an instant, I went from ecstasy to heartache, then mourning for someone I can’t have. When will you stop entering my mind? when will I forget you? How do I get you out of there? I can’t believe I feel like this. I shouldn’t. It makes zero rational sense. Damn it.. You did it again and I know you didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to either. It just naturally happened. I run from you in my head and you always catch me, and gently corner me somehow in there, playing with me- making me smile. In reality, You are not here. At first, I was too frightened about the way you made me feel and it scared you too; I lost myself in your presence. You saw me weak and vulnerable. I just wasn’t strong enough then. You were flushed and intrigued. I let you down; I am so sorry for that. Biggest regret of my life. You must of thought I was on drugs. I would have too. I wasn’t- except for the most powerful one of all – love. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but it’s what I know. Because of this, I hate that you have never had the chance to see the real me. The one who would have been everything you wanted and imagined in your head too. I am that woman. I promise. You know I am. Sweet, strong, passionate and smart. The way you used to gaze at me, said it all. I felt that intensity and pressure from you ; all at the same time, it was just too much then. I wish we could have healed each others wounds with kindness and laughter. Instead, I ran. I don’t care how we met, or through what cosmic circumstances put us in that same room together. Strange at the time; it now comforts me. If you were here, I would kiss every part of you to make you feel as if anything in the world is possible. I hope you think of me some days and wonder what could have been. I would swim oceans to get to you if I knew you ever thought of me that way still. Instead, I do everything to forget you. But my head just wont let you go. Please Let me go. Or come get me. I beg you. It hurts. I still want you. But love you too much to chase you. Trying to let it burn out. I really am, but this flame just keeps growing wild and is getting bigger and hotter no matter how hard I try to put it out. Help me put it out for good. Or give us a chance and come feel the pain of the heat; erupt with me and then lay with me as we smolder it together with the rain of our bodies. I ache for you. Come get me, before it’s too late. I’m not scared anymore. I need you.